Love’s factory is closing down,
the beats all seem redundant now,
my heart feels like an old ghost town,
since you took all your love away.
My soul feels like a disused mine,
my eyes are empty office space,
my tears like unemployment lines,
since you took all your love away.
I built a love museum here,
to show how lovely things once were,
but you don’t visit, you don’t care.
Why did you take your love away?
People say, I should move on,
now that all I loved has gone,
but its easier said than done,
since you took all your love away.
Why don’t you come back here to stay.
Comments
well-wisher | November 2, 2010 - 23:13
I wrote this when I heard that a factory was
closing down nearby and passing by on the train
I saw all the empty offices.
Also, I live in an ex-coal mining area and
there are constant attempts to revitalize
and regenerate it and to interest people in
coal mining history as part of their cultural heritage.
fatboy74 | November 3, 2010 - 09:43
Yes, enjoyed this - like the image about the dole queue like tears, reminds me of that saatchi advert in the seventies/eighties. Would the second line of the last stanza be rhythmically better without one of those 'thats'? Well done. :-)
well-wisher | November 3, 2010 - 11:41
I'm happy that you like my poem and, on your advice, I took out that extra 'that'.
luigi_pagano | November 3, 2010 - 13:10
A well written poem full of good similes. Nicely done.
well-wisher | November 5, 2010 - 00:14
Thank you, Luigi_pagano. I'm glad that you liked it.