Blogs

I don’t usually go to galleries. I’ve nothing against them, but I’m lazy, set in my ways and swallowed all the clichés so I'm fat with knowing. You might be asking why I made this exception. The answer might be that Ally Allan is about the same age as me, went to the same Secondary school—St Andrew’s—and we played football as a kid, but not together. I played for the Goston Swifts and the Dalmuir Stankcleaners. She played professionally in New...

This book is worth reading for Fowels’s foreword written in 1976. He describes it as ‘a novel of adolescence written by a retarded adolescent’. But he makes no apology and neither should he. This is a magical book that keeps shape shifting. The narrator Nicholas Ufte is the kind of public school dolt that makes me want to bolt, but here he holds me spellbound. There’s lots of Shakespeare and classical allusions. Cochis is a Prospero like figure...

Nobody believed me when I said I’d a hole in my denim pocket and lost £10 million last week. It’s quite a nice number. It’s not eleven million which sounds pretentious or nine million which has that mingy, could do better, feel about it. Ten million is spot on. Billionaires are like Nazis always wanting to bring order out of chaos. But they are never unreasonable about it. It’s all about EFFICIENCY. I’ve used capitals to show it’s a big word...

Ajax has the better of the chances, hit the outside of the post in the opening spell, they had more of the ball and a big Lasse scored their goal with twenty seconds to go. Yet Celtic won 2-1, a massive result in terms of keeping their interest in progressing in the tournament or even getting a Europa league parachute spot for third place. De Boar, the ex-Ranger’s player and Ajax manager was particularly scathing. ‘Eight out of ten times the...

Paul Chappell (FTSE100/Footsie), a long-standing member of ABC, very sadly took his own life this past July. UKA Press will be publishing a collection of his work in paperback next month, and they are hoping the publication will help raise awareness of mental health issues in the UK. Please take the time to read this review of the collection by David Gardiner of Gold Dust Magazine: This is a very unusual book in that it was written by a man who...

There was a wonderful moment in Out There when Stephen Fry accused one of the key proponents of ‘rebarbative therapy’ of being very ‘metrosexual’. But our metrosexual friend had the power of numbers as evidence that his theory worked. He explained that a third of his client base were homosexual –because of parenting issues, with Freudian overtones—and were too damaged to change their perspective. A third were treatable, by him or others like him...

I just came across a great article about unusable synonyms and the dark, damp and forgotten portions of the English language. Ever wonder why no one uses 'pulchritude,' 'niggardly,' 'incarnadine,' or 'puissant' anymore? This article has a go at explaining why. Thought it might bring a smile to the face of anyone who's ever grappled with a thesaurus (I can't be the only one of us) : http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/books/2013/10/unusable-...

It’s all over and Eng-er-land are going to Brazil. I had a choice of watching Scotland playing a friendly against Croatia or England playing Poland. I was helped by the fact Scotland are on pay-TV and England are on ITV, or council telly. I think we should support our councils. This was a brilliant, open and attacking game, with goals from Rooney and Gerard at the end of the first and second half settling it. But if you want to know how tight it...

On Channel 4 there is Diary of a Teenage Virgin. Masters of Sex is also on Channel 4, but I think that’s a drama. They also have Dogs: Their Secret Lives. I don’t know what that’s about, but I can guess. I’m getting sick of sex and always thought of Stephen Fry as being particularly sexless, an animated manikin with a voice designed by Harrods. No programme about homosexuality (or celebrity drug or alcohol addiction) can be shown on British...

As usual I’ve come to this series late, just as Bernard Manning’s shouting last orders in the Wheeltappers and Shunter’s Club, the third out of four episodes, but it doesn’t really matter. I’ll tell you a secret—I was there. My younger self looks over my shoulder as I write and whispers ‘you plonker, it wasn’t like that, it was like this?’ So what if there was a monetary crisis and Britain had to obtain a $2 billion dollar bailout from the IMF,...