THE WATER BABY

Hi, just read some of your stories and these are the ones i think you should concentrate on. At the moment you are making a basic error that all new writers make you are telling rather than showing. Instead of telling the reader that you are not too sad the baby died, show it through the way the character speaks and interacts with her environment. Describe the funeral scene as if you were there. What did you hear, what could you smell, how did the tears of others make you feel. What did you say to your mother and so on. good luck Juliet