how do you make friends?

You are soo wrong! Jesus is ginger...and straight...but does like burritos

who doesn't?

He also has a 1960 Chevy Impala low-rider with some really groovy hydraulic lift action. Ohhh, and fur dice hanging from the mirror. Odd though, he didn't have a plastic Jesus statue on his dashboard.

This might sound like a cliche', but you need to be your own best friend, first. People can sense it if you are 'needy', and generally it makes people uncomfortable. Instead of trying to be friends with _everyone_, why not join a club (youth club? sports club? chess club? book club?) for people who share your hobbies; if you're relaxed (or at least pretend to be) and act confidently (even if you don't feel confident inside) you'll soon enough find like-minded friends. Don't give up if it doesn't happen immediately. I personally -hate- meeting new people, because I'm rather shy, too. But I joined a book club and have a real hoot now; everyone was very welcoming. Hope this helps. Good luck!

People mostly make friends over shared interests, find somebody who likes something you do and talk to them about it. The only thing better than shared interests is shared hatreds, especially of other people. I have some very strong fiendships that were initially founded on disliking some sixth form clique or other. The rules: god I don't know. Everyone in the world is basically lonely and scared and they all want a friend who understands them and they can trust.

I agree very much with Archergirl. It's also possible that part of the problem is the people you want to be friends with are not your type? You perhaps need to cast your net a bit further. I was never popular at school in fact I was pretty much hated - rough school, Dad policeman, sensitive, shy child...etc. But it was more than that - I just didn't/don't have the ability to read the social cues. Even now I speak out of turn, appear flippant, misread situations, feel nervous about meeting new people but I'm more relaxed about it. Being a little different from the herd is good for writing and creativity. My solution was to become loud, brash and opionated - a sort of opposite to myself, someone who would push himself into situations - he's taken over some parts of my persona - I can appear very confident when I'm feeling the opposite, but I wouldn't advise that route - it has taken me a long time to get rid of him. I also found that I am weakest when waiting for other poeple to make the first move (being mostly unable socially to do that myself). So my solution was to start organising things, people, events. I taught myself guitar and when punk came along, I formed a band - advertising for members. Being at the centre of that creative activity made a big difference - the focus was writing songs and gigs, the social life just came a long with it. I also got involved in other 'forced' social activities like the Students Union, and Badminton and chess. Just try and take control of this area yourself - no-one else will do it for you, and as AG hinted at, playing the 'pity card' never works. [%sig%]

ok guys thats cool, thanks for answering. but im already doing some of that stuff and it isnt working.....i joined a footie group that plays every saturday and also joined the badminton group but the same prooblem happens, i dont know the rules that every one else knows so its like being at school....im left outside alone!!! i will think about what you say and try and get my act together but im thinking no one knows how this is really done, its just something you do on automatic and you either have it in you or you havent. (i was hoping there might be some shortcuts or cheats like on my PS!!)

I think it's actually something that gets better and easier with age and practice. It also depends on whether you are a 'newbie' at school or not. People are herd animals and most 'herds' aren't all that willing to let new members in, easily at least. If it's any comfort, I feel the same way you do, only at work instead of school. Why not advertise for like-minded individuals or start your own club? Surely you have some hobbies or interests that others can share? Video game club? Readers Of Adventurous Literature Club? I mean, it really does just take time and practice. Social ease may be an inborn trait, but that doesn't mean you'll never have it, even if you aren't born with it. It really is a skill, more than anything. No cheating or shortcuts, I'm afraid. Just patience and perseverance.

*Pulls centre out of pen* *Chews paper* * Spies Suzzie across the class room* *phhhhufffffffff ..... splat* Now that's how you get their attention, John15! [%sig%]

I was a nasty kid. I was overly confident , popular, arrogant and used to bully the less fortunate. This has all changed since I met Jesus

He's still alive?

If you're not bein bullied or excluded, solely not asked to do things outside school or footie club then probably most people think you're OK. You know, it probably doesn't dawn on people that you're not doing stuff already. The truth is that 99% people are shy and 99.999% teenagers haven't worked out how to handle it. My best advice is just be nice to people when you're with them, and give them time to get to know you - e.g. if your footie club is once a week, give it six weeks of just being friendly during the sessions. Don't expect other people to ask you to do stuff in that time - assume they're still sussing you out, and suss them out yourself. By the seventh session, you'll probably have an idea of maybe one or two people who you chat to comfortably - i.e. you feel comfortable to START the conversation with them. Just say casually to them that you'd like to play more footie and see what they say. Chances are, they'll say something like "Oh, I knock the ball about with so-and-so on such-and-such a day, if you're interested." The main thing is, don't force it. TV programmes and books make it seem like everyone makes friends instantly. That's not true. If you're a particularly shy person, it means it takes longer to feel comfortable in other people's company - even if those other people think you're great. I was really shy at school (and am still shy now, I just know how to hide it as a grown up). Getting to know people takes as long as it takes.

well you need a lot of clay for a start

Anon certainly knows how to hide shyness as a grown-up; hence the name. But I agree with him/her; his/her advice is spot-on.

*Pulls centre out of pen again* *Chews more paper* * Spies AG across the net* *phhhhufffffffff ..... splat* *Runs off* Intuition tells you whom you can trust and whom you can't ... so trust that first, last, and only! And besides, what good is something if it doesn't break?

Jasper, I strongly reccomend you go rock climbing and buy a rope with that sentiment in mind.

I met Jesus...(pronounced Hey-sooze). He sells some really mean burrito's from a little push-cart downtown and his collection of Latin Jazz is excellent.

I went to school with Jesus. He's gay.

I went to school with God actually ... she's BI, btw! But she didn't Bi my advances and tossed me out of heaven ... think about it one? *pant*

I went to school with God actually ... she's BI, btw! But she didn't Bi my advances and tossed me out of heaven ... think about it? *pant*

Errr ... either the rope broke or this place has an echo, Ely? Where'd that 'one' come from ... *scratches head* I must be possessed ... *head spins round and round* ... *bites head off Bat*

I'm surprised he didn't have a picture of his mother painted on the hood.

He doesn't know who his mother is.

Are you kidding? His mother was operating the hydraulic controller. She'd get that car hopping on one wheel.

just be yourself, or just talk to people and share your interests

who the heck is everyone talking about?

who the heck is everyone talking about?

who the heck is everyone talking about?

who the heck is everyone talking about?

who the heck is everyone talking about?