Trailer Trash "Guests"
I've been off work for a week and have become addicted to Jeremy Kyle's morning chat show. Tricia was always my favourite before now, but Kyle really gets in their face and tells it like it is.
"Come on, I want to see the fire in your eyes! Why should I believe you?"
"Sir, you are a disgrace! Take a look at yourself. How can you look after a baby when you can't even look after yourself?"
But for the last week I've been pondering a question. How come every single one of the "guests", without exception, dresses as though they are trailer trash?
I'm not sayingn they are, you understand. And the term "trailer trash" is simply that, a term. I mean to indicate that to all intents and purposes they have purposelly dressed DOWN to appear on the telly.
Indeed, there's absolutely nothing wrong with people who live in trailers. My brother-in-law and his family live in a huge tralier (on a tralier park) in Montana. And two of our best friends recently sold a successful business and their home, and moved down to the south of France to live in a static. They own two others, which they rent out as holiday accommodation, another one which they keep for guests and a holiday home on the Isle of Wight. Coincidentally, they're back in the country this week and are visiting tonight.
No, what I'm wondering is it a prerequisite of the show that all "guests" realy dress down? Without exception, the audience dresses better than these people who are appearing on national TV. The audience dresses for a day out. The "guests" dress as though they've just come back from picking up their giro.
If you were to appear on national TV, wouldn't you iron your blouse/shirt, have a shave, wash your hair, scrub yourself up a little? The audience seems to. Why not the guests?
Or are they specifically requested not to in order to make good TV?
"Don't worry about putting your best clothes on. There's only so many million people that will be seeing. Don't wash your hair for a couple of days, and kind of tie it up so a few greasy strands continuously fall in your eyes. If you're a little overweight wear something that emphasises this, you know, like a tight blouse or tight jeans. Or better still, see if you can arrange for a few rolls of lumpy, pimply fat to be hanging over your jeans. Try to wear that really cheap t-shirt you bought down the market, so that your bra straps keep showing. If you've got bad teeth show them as much as possible.
"And whatever you wear, remember that if you're the second guest in you must, must come on shouting and finger pointing.
"This is your big chance."
