Joke

very good, reminds me of when I was younger and I was with my Dad, who's a fairly successful folk musician, in a pub in Ayreshire where he wasa playing. on the wall, as in most pubs in the area was a picture of Rabbie Burns, I asked who it was, having seen the face on the back of notes and on various statues, everyone looked at me shocked and said 'why that's Robbie Burns', they then returned to their drinking, being non-plussed I then asked, 'what the fuck did he do then?', I was lucky not to get lynched. Instead when my Dad's band was playing they sang Green Grow The Rashers and dedicated it to me with the announcement that I didn't know who Rabbie Burns was. nobody

When I was about 8 or 9, my mum found this nice little bound book of Robbie Burns' poetry. As I was into poetry at the time, and with Dad being scots, she gave it to me. Never had the heart to tell her it was actually the 'Secret Cabinet of Robert Burns' or some such title, and was full of very rude poems. Never read explanatory footnotes quite so enthusiastically.

Rabbi Burns that great Jewish poet: like it.

Very funny. Didn't see it coming. If you want to buy my book, visit my blog: http://whatisthisstrangeplace.blogspot.com/

A great joke, which really cheered up my day. Does anyone actually like the great Scotsman's poetry though? I read it as a teenager (how sad am I?) and hated it.

This has nothing to do with poetry, I'm afraid. But it is a joke. Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared & said, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring & lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. Whilst swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it is much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", was the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again." Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back, "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed..." "I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian!"

Hahaha...good one Lou.

An oldie... One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her backside and said, 'You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your big knickers'. While this was on the edge of intolerable, the wife thought herself better and replied with a stony silence. The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, 'You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your granny bra.' Unable to keep quiet this time, the wife rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said, 'You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the milk man and your brother!'

ha ha very good here's my contribution A man and his wife are asleep when the phone next to the bed starts ringing. Grabbing it the husband listens for a minute and then shouts "How the hell am I meant to know, what am I a weatherman?" before slamming the phone down. His wife asks, "Who was that dear?" He says, "I dunno, some bloke wanting to know if the coast was clear." nobody