Lighting Candles

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Wed, 2006-04-12 00:40

Lighting Candles

It's after midnight and the telly's off, so...

Here's the thing. I've been wondering, why is it that aspects of religion can still hold an appeal to atheists? Are humans predisposed to such things or is it purely on account of a brush with childhood religious education? I don't mean clinging on to the hope of some form of life after death (as I don't think 'religion' as such, has a monopoly on that idea) it's more a case of the small rituals. Why do we (atheists) sometimes feel the need to partake in these rituals even though we rationally don't believe in any of it? Is that need the reason why we ended up with religion? Probably. If so, why did we evolve with that urge in the first place? Here's an example ' I can't seem to foreshorten it, so feel free to skip to the end.

Last summer, I was sitting on a park bench in Venice with three old school friends chatting about the kids. We were all enjoying ourselves, it was hot, we had ice cream, but then the conversation drifted towards birth stories. The thing was, Lynn had lost her first child after a day and a half, so when the discussion turned to birth weights, I began to feel anxious for her and tried, to no avail, to change the subject. It wasn't as though Lynn had ever shied away from talking about Zoe, it was just that Zoe's birth weight didn't seem to be included in the running. Lynn didn't look outwardly upset, but she didn't say much either.

As we got up to go, the two others stopped to take photos over a bridge as Lynn and I waited by a church. The doors were open, so we went in. By a side altar, there was a rack of candles and a money box. I fumbled in my purse for a coin and lit a candle. Lynn came up beside me and did the same. We stood back and looked at them for a second, gave each other a slightly embarrassed smile and walked out again.
We felt better. Why did we feel better, why did it have to be a church?

Wed, 2006-04-12 11:30

2Lou

You're right there. I tried asking Overpriced Bits of Venetian Glass R Us for candles and matches, but they just looked at me funny.

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

Wed, 2006-04-12 11:35

poetjude

Observing a minutes silence for victims of last year's tube bombings whilst standing on the streets of london was a substitute for collective religious worship - I'm sure of it. jude visit my boring website http://www.judesworld.net

Wed, 2006-04-12 11:45

maddan

I remember observing a minute silence for 9/11 at work but not till after some dickwit manager insisted on making an appalling speech and making the whole thing feel cheap and false. He was religious, most of the rest of us weren't.

Wed, 2006-04-12 12:02

archergirl

Lou, I think the experience you shared with your friend in the church is lovely, poignant, and appropriate. I suppose it's a given that we question such things after the fact but... do we have always question? Flippant replies aside, church is as good a place as any for collective experiences, and better than most because that is partly its design; and although I'm not particularly religious, I still find the quiet sanctity of a dark medieval church to be very comforting, indeed.

Wed, 2006-04-12 13:32

tom_saunders

I love churches, too. I like them because they're old and resonant of the past. Also no two are the same. I'm not religious, though, and I never have been. I'd probably light a candle for someone I cared for if I thought it would please them and help them feel better about their troubles. I mean atheists have their own dogma and I'm just not interested in telling other people what they should or shouldn't do when it comes to religion. If you want to buy my book, visit my blog: http://whatisthisstrangeplace.blogspot.com/

Wed, 2006-04-12 14:37

2Lou

Itâ€™s like, 'one appropriate religious ritual please - hold the religion.' Dan's comment reminds me of funerals. I always welcome the part where the priest goes off into his sermon because it doesn't affect me at all and I can sit there thinking, what bollocks, and compose myself. I agree itâ€™s probably purely the atmosphere of old churches that lend themselves to such things. They have that, contemplative, respectful â€“ many have lit candles before you â€“ air to them. I guess, at its simplest, it's just a remembrance thing. We felt Zoe was being overlooked â€“ lighting a candle was an appropriate way to say she wasnâ€™t. Iâ€™m just not sure to whom we thought we were saying it.

~
www.fabulousmother.co.uk

Wed, 2006-04-12 14:42

Jingle

I've always thought that belief is God given and Religion man made. So it makes sense that when, singularly, you light a candle in the belief that it honours someone you loved..that is God given belief. When everyone lines up and in some sort of ceremony or other place lit candles in a specific order...that is man made ritual. I have a strong belief that there is an Almighty Force. How you plug into it and what effect it has upon you is what matters. In Churches (The older the better) it seems easier, perhaps after all the pomp and circumstance has gone home there remains an indefineable Aura and that's what we feel when in the quiet of a private visit. That's how I feel anyway and I thought that you described the feeling very well.

Fri, 2006-04-14 19:14

styx

I'm not religious either but consider myself spiritual. I defy anyone who goes into the countryside, where there is no light pollution, stare up at the stars and infinity, and not go - WOW !

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