Meaningless crap that passes for communication

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Meaningless crap that passes for communication

It's always been the case that when politicians and business people open their mouths much of what they say is empty noise. But it seems to be getting worse.

My latest bugbear is the phrase "we need to engage with the people/our customers".

A phrase like this is just ear candy. It sounds impressive and speakers can imply they are planning great things, without actually commiting themselves to anything in particular. It is totally non-specific.

In a similar vein, two other much abused terms are "community" and "framework". These words - as used in modern political parlance - mean absolutely nothing at all.

So a phrase like "we need to create a framework in which we can re-engage with the XYZ community" basically means we'll be doing zilch.

What other crap phrases have you heard people say that sound kind of impressive but are actually meaningless?

Moving forward! pe ps oid Blogs! "the art of tea" "that's an odd courgette"

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

These statements aren't meaningless, they basically mean 'we're going to talk to you'. Politicians and companies need to tell voters and customers what they think and what they're selling, and they need to find out what voters think and what customers want to buy. Whether it's necessary or useful for us to be told that we're going to be talked to is another matter.

 

Enzo v2.0
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"Moving forward" irritates me, too. It's typically a way of shirking responsibility for what the situation has been or currently is. A bit like "Mistakes have been made". My personal bugbear: "Ideation". It makes me so angry I want to murder people. But really, we all know it's not the words' fault if they are hollow, it's the speaker's fault for not meaning what (s)he says.
My personal favourite political phrase is something along the lines of "I don't think it's useful to point the finger at anybody in particular". What this basically means is "I think there's every chance that it was my fault."
Enzo v2.0
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This seems like a good opportunity to mention that "The Thick of it", one of the best tv series of recent years, is back (sans Chris Langham, of course - who I hope, hope, hope is innocent). Armando Iannucci is the man, and this show is still brilliant. Anyway, series 2 ep 1 is repeated tonight on BBC4 if anyone's interested.
"Let me make this very clear."
Enzo v2.0
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In fact, just last night I re-watched series 1 and did quite literally not stop laughing. Malcolm's fury is comedy genius. Take one Scot and script a barrage of curses in combinations never previously heard. What have you got? A comedy triumph!
"children are fully engaged in the learning process" "modern behaviour management techniques" "the 99.99% pass rate is a tribute to all the hard work the students have put in." Yeeeuch. While we're at it, who decided that all 7 and 8 year olds have to be called "students" now? Aren't some teachers dross? e.g "My students are learning their 3 times table and how to spell 'cat' ..." The only thing worse than teachers calling their little kids 'students' is calling them 'you guys'. And they do. I've heard them. Why can't they just be children, or pupils?
It's because the majority of the population are braindead through design. They know they're wasting their time saying anything remotely intelligible apart from the odd, romantic little phrase that will 'set-in' with the zombies. When the power of love overcomes the love of power, we'll find peace. - Jimi Hendrix

~It's a maze for rats to try, it's a race for rats to die.~

"I hear what you're saying.." - this of course leaves the "but I'm not listening, much less taking any notice" part out. In my time in the military, we used to call this sort of thing mouth music. We enlivened many a boring briefing playing 'Bullshit Bingo', wherein we attempted to predict which empty phrases would occur. Ianucci is without doubt a genius: I only wish Blair and Alastair Campbell had enough self-awareness to be embarrassed by TTOI Never underestimate the power of fools in large groups. graffito in bar outside US Air Base in Turkey
"(except the glorious Ken Livingstone who has been true and honest throughout)." I'm one of Ken's biggest fans but I'm not sure whether he's any more honest than anyone else, he's just funnier. TTOI is very, very good. I reckon Alastair Campbell's probably quite flattered that Malcolm's based on him.

 

... oh and calling darts players "athletes" has to be the most unintentionally hilarious misuse of language ever. I believe F1 drivers are also referred to as "athletes". Don't know about snooker players.
"Bullshit Bingo"... :))))) pe ps oid Blogs! "the art of tea" "that's an odd courgette"

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

House is an excellent show. Glad you pointed that out BBFrancis. XD
Hey up, is that supposed to mean something pepsi? Maybe you don't think F1 drivers etc are referred to as 'athletes' if so, can I suggest you tune in to Radio London sports bulletins on 94.9 FM and hear the awful truth for yourself? PS I tuned in to that TT of it thing, bloody awful. Bloody bloody awful. Found myself yearning for a general anaesthetic.
I've heard it said by people who know far more about such things than me, that F1 driving is about the most physically demanding sport there is. It also requires a very high boredom threshold on the part of the viewer.

 

No, no, reckless, you misunderstand - I was merely expressing a belating appreciation of the term "Bullshit Bingo"! As to my opinion on F1... well, erm, I confess that it's not something I've really given much thought to... :/ pe ps oid Blogs! "the art of tea" "that's an odd courgette"

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

Thought it might be someething like that. Still don't get it though. maddan: yes I probably agree that F1 is demanding, but to call the drivers 'athletes'? Which they do, regularly. I looked on the BBC TV listings and it was advertised as 'Athletics: British Grand Prix.' Well,excuse me, but since when was driving anything to do wih athletics? Doesn't language have any meanng any more? Athletics is Track and Field. Full stop. We all know that. As for calling darts players 'athletes', well, people who do that need treatment. What next? I'm an athlete because I play marbles with my little boy?
My dictionary doesn't mention Track and Field, only physical strength, endurance, and skill (which would include darts players at a stretch). As even the least cunning linguist knows, words mean what they are used to mean.

 

"Which they do, regularly. I looked on the BBC TV listings and it was advertised as 'Athletics: British Grand Prix.' Well,excuse me, but since when was driving anything to do wih athletics? Doesn't language have any meanng any more?" As BBF points out, the meanings of the words Grand Prix haven't changed and they're nothing to do with driving.

 

Do you remember the young girl on tele, reading out loud 'The Grand Prix' and pronouncing it 'Pricks'. She is admonished quietly about the correct pronounciation, and then pronounces it Grand Pree. But then says-and this is what makes great T V - 'Yeh, but it says pricks here!' Who was she and what is she doing now? I feel a couple of threads coming on.

 

woops. absolutely right of course. I blame not much sleep and two double brandies. Sorry about that. Or should that be shhorry. But they do say that on Radio London. promise.
Or perhaps Susan Tully absolutely intended to say what she said... ;) pe ps oid Blogs! "the art of tea" "that's an odd courgette"

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

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