The O2 centre are wondering what to do about all the people who have tickets for the etiolated one's concerts. They could get another artist in to cover those dates. I wonder who? I know what about Gary Glitter!
My very very naughty younger brother just sent me these.
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play
with and the other you carry your groceries in.
Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date?
A: There's a big wheel parked outside his house.
Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty eight year olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them.
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect "10??
A: Two 5 year olds.
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalogue.
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.
Q: Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
A: Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
Q: What's brown and often found in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand.
This from my naughty younger brother.
Q: What's the difference between Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson?
A: One had sex with Majors and one had sex with minors.
He is on record as saying there is nothing wrong in sharing your bed with minors. If someone accused me of sex abuse I wouldn't pay them a reputed $20,000,000 I'd tell them to fuck off.
Also there was I believe another case in the pipeline. Apart from the others.
And don't get me started on his annoying yips and hiccoughs after every line. Now as a dancer he was second to none, well apart from Usher, Ne-Yo, Justin Timberlake - yes Justin Timberlake, check out Like I Love You the man can move! Oh and THE MAN James Brown! Watch any footage of him in the 50s 60s and 70s now that man could move. But I suppose for a lot of you Michael Jackson fans out there at least you can console yourself with the fact that a large part of his face will never decompose.
His family now fears gold-diggers claiming true paternity of his children.
The elder two are fair-skinned and light-haired which has aroused plenty of questions. With one black and one white parent you generally get a wide range of skin tone as demonstrated in my family (mother is Cape Coloured and Dad is white). We have one very fair-skinned, one very dark and four of us somewhere in between. My middle younger brother also has fairly light brown hair (the rest of us have black or dark brown). So the complexion of these two children is not at all impossible though it is unlikely. This is more common in so-called black who like Obama are half white. The big question though are the blue eyes of his daughter. I have a 50% chance of having blue eyed children since my father has blue-grey eyes (so my carrying the recessive blue eyed gene is a certainty) and my partner has blue eyes but I and all my brothers and sister have brown eyes because of my mother as an African carrying two sets of the brown eyed gene. Both Jackson's parents are African American (with brown or green-brown eyes) and are of a generation where mixed race marriages were a no-no (which makes me assume his grandparents were also African Americans) so it would be fairly improbable Jacko could be carrying the recessive gene for blue eyes? Granted, some black people do have blue eyes so somewhere in the ancestry there may have been blue eyes, but the chances of the recessive gene surviving are small.
What's wrong with having sex with miners?
A. Scargill.
Well, I expect, given the hoo-ha that's bound to ensue when it comes to deciding who gets what - and I'm thinking more of future royalties than any assets at time of death - there will no doubt be a great deal of DNA evidence on display in the courtrooms of the Land of the Free. Another edifying experience brought to your home courtesy of CNN, ladeezangennumen!
Who's bad?
Reference the 'eyes' thingamybob... does an individual of mixed caucasian, negroid and mongoloid ancestry have 3 eyes of differing colour?
Reference the 'Michael Jackson' thingamybob... do you think crop circles were a factor in his demise?
Reference the 'Michael Jackson' thingamybob... do you think crop circles were a factor in his demise?
Yes. A recent article said wallabies high on opium were making crop circles. Jackson was addicted to opiate based painkillers. To the uninitiated, wallabies were a 'decoy' planted by the aliens who are really responsible for the crop circles. For those of us in the know, it was a coded warning that the aliens were planning on bringing on Jackson's death.
Solidarity, Poetjude: I'm relieved to finally find a kindred soul.
"If you like Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain. If you like making love at midnight in the dunes of the cape. I'm the lady you've looked for, write to me, and escape."
Err... sorry: I'm not the lady you've looked for (being a daft auld geeza 'n' all). Do you like Saffron Cider?
Saffron Cider? I don't drink fermented beverages though I would feel cheated if I die without ever trying one of Styx's Plebian Pimms which "consists of a rather muscular cider, ice, Sainsbury's strawberry and raspberry smoothie and locally grown stinging nettles in place of mint scattered on the top".
You guys are sick fucks.
1. Does it matter whether jackson was the biological father of his children...he was their dad.
2. The guy had plastic surgery - So fucking what. He lost his nose to surgery, you guys will probably lose yours to cocaine. Difference?
3. Michael jackson was a man of steel who became the world's greatest creative artist and entertainer.
Keep writing guys... ;)
~It's a maze for rats to try, it's a race for rats to die.~
~It's a maze for rats to try, it's a race for rats to die.~
I think Idi Amin wins hands down as the most entertaining dictator... although Adolf's puppet shows were often a major hit with the Austrians. Oh no, that was Julie Andrews.
Anyway, I don't put coke up my nose Yan, I get black marks all over my clothes if I do. I will admit to the occasional finger finding its way up there, though. I'm not addicted to nose-picking, like Skunk.
"Does it matter whether jackson was the biological father of his children...he was their dad."
Good point Yan and in response ...
I agree that he was their dad regardless of biological parentage but I disagree with withholding this information from donor conceived children for the following reasons:
- Everyone should be able (if possible) to know their biological origin. Adopted children often speak of their need for resolution in this matter. The UK is currently trying to decide whether to make it compulsory to state that children were conceived by gamete donation on the birth cert. making deception of children very difficult. If children are lied to and later discover the truth, the deception can be devastating.
- To prevent the unlikely but real possibility of biological half-siblings meeting and getting married (unawares). This is a real concern in the USA where gamete donation is very loosely regulated. There have in the UK been tragic cases of biological siblings being adopted by different families and years later meeting, falling in love and marrying.
- So children can have a better picture of their family medical history (for example if their biological father develops glaucoma later in life, it is in their interest to know this and be tested).
It is true that your mum and dad are those defined as such and refers to the relationship rather than biological parenthood but once two generations pass, the biology once again becomes important. My grandfather was illegitimate, born as the result of a fling with a Canadian soldier posted in London during WW1. The only thing we know about the soldier is his name and we have one photograph. When my great-grandmother married another man, my grandfather was given his surname and considered him 'dad'. But since I knew neither, I display in my home the one picture we have of my biological great-grandfather and not one of the many of my step-great-granddad (even though I bear his name).
jude
Author Page at the 'Zon
~It's a maze for rats to try, it's a race for rats to die.~
Author Page at the 'Zon
Author Page at the 'Zon
Author Page at the 'Zon