What In Darnation Is Going On Now!!

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What In Darnation Is Going On Now!!

It appears that I have the giggles and there's nobody else in the room.
Can anyone tell me what in darnation is going on now!!
I was supposed to be meeting a girl tonight but she called to say that she'd seen her ex-boyfriend last night and ended up shagging him.
She's confused as to how this happened so I told her about similar instances in the closet of my own tawdry past ('he caught you at a weak moment', 'it takes two to tangle', 'it must have been the heat of the moment', 'post Xmas blues', etc.) and I think I heard a light come on.
I told her I was grateful she'd called instead of keeping our date because
a. I don't like sloppy seconds, especially when I don't know I'm getting them
b. she's fifty miles away, which is about twenty quid in gas (return)
c. honesty really turns me on in a big way.
She told me that she feels like a piece of shit so I told her to stop beating herself up. She huffed many times and we laughed at how stupid sex/lust/love/expectation can be.
We refrained from talking dirty but I did ask her whether she had nice nipples, as I still haven't met her/seen them. She told me that she had lovely nipples, which I believe to be true.
When she said how nice and understanding I was being, I told her that my strange elation came from dealing with this unfortunate turn of events in such an adult way. It was as big a surprise to me as it was to her. At this time, she became even more confused.
She's now gone to bed and I'm sat here laughing my twatting head off. And I still fancy the arse off her.
What in darnation is going on now!!
Answers on a seaside postcard please.

Crikey Id say stop smoking the doobies and go to bed personally.
Psycholigical deviance works wonders friend. Anyone laughs at something they relate to or hate with utter passion. Pick a winner. - Chinobus -

- Chinobus -

Gosh, am I frapist? I'd love to know who I'm fraping and indeed what frape is. I posted this questionable forum topic as a test to see what sort of comments might come back after becoming sadly disillusioned by the generally mindless activity on forum topics. Many topics on this site are readily used as bait to feed our less attractive natural urges in a listless, convoluted attempt to falsely release personal anger. Generally speaking, they end up as non-intellectual slanging matches far removed from the context of the topic. Even when a perfectly good social/political argument is put forward, this item of conversation, which may well be of great use, is quickly devalued or surreptiously defaced and replaced by witless, irrelevant remarks that serve only to stifle fruitful debate. The topic then diverts further into playground mentality. If someone does present a decent solution worth investigating, this is usually dismissed as a rant or roundly ignored. So what's the point of forum topics and discussion if no one wants to add to it intellectually? Is debate dead? It seems so.

 

So why didn't you just post what you just said instead? If you wanted to start a proper debate. Posting what you did would probably just put people off straight away. It just sounded like someone doped up and sounding off about sexual frustration.
I don't like being put to a test Blighters- so knock it off-If there isn't an ounce of truth in this forum topic why the hell post it. That's really really mean. We don't all want to see a torsoless Cameron- that's not necessarily fun for everyone. If you want serious forum posts start with yourself. Instead of this lowlife stuff about rape. Yes take a look at Verdana's post- You haven't got your eyes open at all- you are very quick to criticize.
I am not amused Archie- be sure of that!
Just wanted to point out that whatever this forum post does say, it says nothing related to, or hinting at rape. That appeared in the comments after... Although it's an important discussion it's another forum topic for another day...

 

Archie I was going to say the same thing (also that it's mostly under 20s who do it). Nothing to do with rape. Massive communication failure on this thread. Hopefully all cleared up now

 

thanks Archie and Insert-now all clear.
Well I'll be. I'm laughing my head off at the sheer hilarity of the posts. Thank God for forum topics! I'm alive again! I'd have done this years ago if I'd known what the response would be. Rape seems to be a recurring theme in this thread and only the delusional or the really thick will be able to explain how it came to pass (not that I'd stoop so low as to mention any names, Nazi and Highhat, respectively). I'd still like to see a Cameron head, perhaps with shiny red dimples and an apple protruding from an armless hand for a paedophile teacher that could snidely double up as a zit, as a cherry-replacement. I made a quick response to Verdana's post on 'Women and rape' but was on my way out for a hot date so it was cut well short. On a serious note, I still don't know what frape is and would love to be enlightened by someone on this new phenomenon. Perhaps Nazi's the man. Maybe also he could let us all know how this wondrous forum topic could ever be connected to rape. Like I said, answers on a seaside postcard.. I'm off some more phone sex now.

 

I agree wholeheartedly, Verdana, and a man is a nder. Here's to a fab 2013.

 

Thanks for your explanation, Archie, but I'm still unsure what Nazi's on about. Is that why he's been a little quiet of late? Come on, Nazi old boy. Let's all get a taste of your aryan intellect and effotless wit. If you want what I'm on, Archie, you'll have to get off drink and drugs for a good wee while. Then and only then does the ordinary and mundane become a joy to witness. It's the innocent shamelessness that I've missed most.

 

Just shows we don't know each other very well. I didn't suspect Blighter's post as fraping and am shocked that you put us to a test with this tasteless story. Blighters not everybody is as politically correct as you (not that this post bears witness of that) and all posts can not be as streamlined as you would like them to be. That's what makes the world exciting- that everybody has different opinions and tastes.If we all agreed - well that is frightening. If you wanted to take the forum posts seriously you might have suggested something more realistic for a POD picture. I don't think I'll say any more, for the time being!
Well Archie- a bit of banter is quite all right with me and honestly I am ashamed if I get personal and angry and attack individuals as I know I do and it's not right so I had better stop. A new year's resolution perhaps. To be a better person. I'm definitely not above banter but I am allowed to disagree as I am sure you agree with. I thought this post was in earnest and thought less of Blighters therefore- But Hey I love everybody on abc-and I love everything about/on the site too.
Hi Sundays. Now I get it. Thanks for saying it in bite-size chunks. It's good to get to the bottom of this. Just goes to show how forum topics bring out the worst in me. Confused voluntary mental suffering seems to have been universally embraced, which to some degree satisfies my initial quest to determine how forum topics are bad for me. The blind leading the blind. Hi Nazi. Thanks for using Archie's paragraph to explain your misunderstanding. Someone did say it again, using her own words, and it was thankfully made crystal clear. Hi Pia. I think we do know eachother extraordinarily well considering we've never met. That people thought it inconceivable that I'd post something so ridiculous shows a good amount of personal understanding and care. The fact is I'm prone to very weak moments in which temptation to play devil's advocate is too strong to dismiss. I appreciate that you see me as politically correct but I can assure you I'm everything but. If I was politically correct, I'd be informing the authorities of anything seen as politically incorrect, looking down my nose at homeless people and thanking the status quo for not putting me in the same spot, besides which I am thoroughly apolitical, which in laymen terms means that I believe that humans should be allowed to make their own decisions based on strict spiritual principles and not be guided by corrupt, self-seeking public school terrorists who dress in nice suits and slaughter the innocent. With autonomous anarchy, we are all in charge of our lives for real, not just as a game for the rich to play in order to justify their lavish lifestyle. Without politics and hierarchy, justice is done and we are all one. I don't know what a pod picture is but it does bring to mind the front cover of Day of the triffids. Hi Archie. I know where you're coming from but there's nothing better than seeing things through sober eyes. Agreed, we'll agree to disagree. Can I go now?

 

Blighters- I am sorry I misjudged you and thought that the post was for real. That's me- a dummy- but you do shock me sometimes you Brits- I apologize for misunderstanding and now see that it was just a joke. I'm sorry I took it so seriously. I wasn't going to comment on it initially and should have kept my mouth shut. yes I do believe we know each other well even though we haven't met but I know I can be very naïve (and can't spell that word). Archie I am glad you caught on to it because I didn't. It was a silly piece of writing I think and I am sorry I fell for it- I am actually relieved that Blighters didn't write it in earnest other than to rouse us a bit. I should have known him better. I must apologize to everyone that I misunderstood it- my fault but I have certainly learned something. I hope I can remember what I learned!
Hi Pia, I can be a prickly little shit sometimes and deserved a certain amount of stick for my wayward means of extracting information for my mind to gorge upon in the anus of time. seriously, I appreciate your post and you should know I love you all the more. One thing, I genuinely was laughing my head off and this did happen but I didn't mean to rouse you or anyone else. It was an enquiry as to how fucked up forum topics can get but I didn't see it as a form of snaky victimisation. Just a bit of fun. Hi Archie, I get what you're saying about standing up for oneself against idiots. I do it all the time out there. Just got back from Guildford and a BMW with a couple of young dorks were inside. At a traffic light, the bus couldn't get past turning the corner and all the Beemer had to do was reverse a little. Of course, I weighed in and exchanged lovely comments with delightful expletives, acting like a dork too. They got the message and on leaving I enquired as to whether they should call their mothers, being out after 4pm. I'd like to think I'm a bigger man but sometimes I feel an ingratiating desire to weigh in with my threepence. Too many of these in the spiritual piggy bank add up to me closing in on a relapse and I have to really reel myself back to normal(ish) thinking with prayer and meditation, gratitude and love. Happy New Year, you beauties, and here's to a fab 2013. All the bestest Richard

 

Still haven't seen the damn things.

 

I'm glad you don't hold it against me Blighters and that you still love me- I love you too. If I had given it more thought then I would have realized that this was not you. Happy New Year and have a great 2013 ;)Pia
Yes but it wasn't a true story Archie- Good morning.
Well I don't care any longer- that was yesterday and he loves me even more.
What bloody sex life? This online dating game's about as interesting as Friday night at the laundrette. It's quite hard meeting girls when you dron't dink. I met one vivacious lady a few weeks back and she'd tackled one and a half pints of wine within an hour and then told me she'd just come back from hozzie with a lung infection, which surprisingly she didn't attribute to the two bottles she drinks a day. She liked the expression 'functioning alcoholic' when I mentioned she might need a bit of help, but then she had another pint or two, telling me more about her events business, and asked me if I was into BDSM. These normal people are very tricky customers.

 

Happy new year to everyone in the abc mad house. It's both comforting and reassuring to know you're all still as mental as last year. Jolly good show.
Ah, peskmeister. Good to have you back, and yes we're still nuts. Happy New Un!