Last Night&#039;s ABCtales Bash

For anyone who isn't familiar with our Mr Wriggle, em, l mean Wiggins, he's allowed out occasionally if he takes the correct medication a la Nurse Scratchitt. Bless him ..

Thu, 2013-05-09 14:26

Care in the community, babe, care in the community. I was a nervous wreck with the thought of walking into a room full of strangers and giving a reading. In a way I'm glad it wasn't that well-attended. Now, however, I'm thinking I may have a career as a Performance Poet.

Thu, 2013-05-09 15:24

ABSOLUTELY!!! And you, Denni Denni Den, you wee Scottish Bam-pot, you!

Thu, 2013-05-09 15:29

I truly believe that I’ve stripped ‘theyallrightshitesowhyshouldn’ti?’ down to the absolute essence of thought and feeling. The poem itself has been carefully constructed to evoke a certain response, the emotion coming from the performance poet and the response evoked in the audience. This poem may well go on to equal Homer’s Odyssey, and the French students who were previously singing Frère Jacques on the train felt that it could be extremely important and influential in shaping Western culture in the future. So how come I haven’t got a cherry for it?

Thu, 2013-05-09 15:39

alex_tomlin

What was this party and why wasn't I invited?!

Thu, 2013-05-09 15:49

lenchenelf

Honeybun, did you deliberately miss out zeitgeist, schaden'fraud', post-modernity and the eclectic isms plus Archer style appeal to the embedded sense of countryside medieval protectionism from your opera, tut, no wonder you're left in the orchestra pit. *Wanders off in a bewildered haze of newly blossomed hawthorne' Mine's a tonic water. xxxxxxxxxxxx

Thu, 2013-05-09 15:58

tcook

I think Karl has been at the funny juice again - there was no event!

Thu, 2013-05-09 16:06

#10

Lenchenelf, you make a very valid point. I don't even think I deserve the orchestra pit. No wonder I didn't get a cherry. I should be placed in the stocks and be forced to listen to a medley of David Cameron's speeches whilst fellow ABCtalers throw tomatoes, yogurt and oranges at me.

Thu, 2013-05-09 16:14

#11

lenchenelf

Sod throwing it at you, with a little minced chilli, garlic and seasoning, that would make a rather nice dip! xxxxx

Thu, 2013-05-09 16:20

#12

I tooooold yoooo's ... (he's now being harnessed into his straight jacket) 'There there, Mr Wiggling, sorry, Wiggins. That's you ready for the doctor now'.

Thu, 2013-05-09 18:18

#13

Doctor Walrus has entered the room.

Thu, 2013-05-09 18:59

#14

celticman

I was there too. Half the crowd thought I was shouting abuse. The other person left before I finished. It was my performance poem. I'm misunderstewed.

Thu, 2013-05-09 19:26

#15

What a night! In fact I've only just got in. The club was fantastic, the music lively and the entertainment risque! Well in Kings Cross what do you expect. The highlight for me was when Karl ( somehow) got his left leg behing his neck, stood on his hands and then drank a pint of bombadier whilst eating fifty hard boiled eggs. That is something that will live with me forever! Thank you karl.

Thu, 2013-05-09 19:31

#16

I performed several delicate operations, but after drinking five gallons of Stella I couldn't remember what they were, and I ended up lying in a dark alleyway singing a song about Pixies.

Thu, 2013-05-09 19:38

#17

Oh that was you walrus? I thought it was Bryan Ferry ( who was there by the way but had far too much to drink and started singing Virginia Plain in his underpants).

Thu, 2013-05-09 19:39

#18

By the way Karl, you poetry really is shite!

Thu, 2013-05-09 21:29

#19

I thought he was singing Golden Vagina from the roll-up baccy advert.....

Thu, 2013-05-09 21:50

#20

So who really was there? Only one of the above people is telling the truth, well me as well I suppose, so that makes two. And Tony, The Star of Kings in King's Cross may be one to put on your list of possible venues. Easy 5-minute walk from King's Cross and St. Pancras, so people from ooop t'north could make it too, and it's certainly got a big enough back bar and stage; http://www.starofkings.co.uk/bookings/ Jolono, you have no idea what you're doing to my confidence. I'm going to post one more poem, which I expect to be an effort of genius and then I'm leaving this site for good.

Thu, 2013-05-09 22:07

#21

You still here?

Thu, 2013-05-09 22:33

#22

Good riddance .. an so say olovus ha ha Dx

Thu, 2013-05-09 23:05

#23

Linda Wigzell Cress

A song about Pixies, Walrus? If it was my Puddle Pixies you were singing about, where are my royalties? And mines a G&T ice and lemon. Linda

Linda

Fri, 2013-05-10 00:01

#24

No, Linda, you've got the wrong end of the stick, it was a very very VERY naughty song about Pixies that I can only remember when I'm blind, paralytic drunk. And the drinks are on Karl, it's his round. Where's he gone? Oh, he's climbing out of the toilet window.....

Fri, 2013-05-10 00:42

#25

.....never mind, Jolono and Denni have rugby tackled him on the car park and pinched his wallet. He's paying for scratchings and crisps and dry roasted nuts as well, by the way.

Fri, 2013-05-10 10:26

#26

Right, this is my absolute last post, and then I'm gone for good. I've just come back from climbing one of the tower cranes, but I forgot to throw myself off, so I'll probably do that tomorrow. Comments like the above can be deeply hurtful to a quiet, impressionable young lad like myself. ABCtales is my life. I miss all of you already. If I can’t be a performance poet then there’s nothing else in the world I long for. My tears are starting to show, creating wounds on my skin and my smile is fading away, but I will turn my sadness into wind. One day you’ll all be sorry, but when I die don’t come near my body for my hand won’t be able to wipe your tears away. That’s all I have to say on the matter Except that although my fellow ABCtalers may not love me anymore, although you may not care, if you shall ever need me, you know that I'll be there. Your love may all be taken, your heart may not be free, but when your heart is broken, you can always lean on me. I’ll never stop loving you, I know because I have tried. All the oceans in the world can’t hold the tears I've cried. (That rhymes, doesn’t it?)

Fri, 2013-05-10 10:30

#27

Nurse Nurse .. the Wigwam's loose again!!

Fri, 2013-05-10 12:15

#28

I saw you climbing the crane, Karl. Why were you wrapped in half a ton of bubble wrap?

Fri, 2013-05-10 12:33

#29

VeraClark

Do real actual events occur with real writing people? Do you have to be a member for over 18 months and undergo initiation rites to attend?

Fri, 2013-05-10 12:36

#30

No, and yeah ..

Fri, 2013-05-10 14:03

#31