does anyone feel like this or is it just me?

I've always been very dramatic. Ever since I was younger, my biggest fear is living a normal life. Unfortunately my biggest fear is slowing morphing into my life, I am nothing special. I have no talent. I cannot sing or dance. I am a terrific actresses, however not on stage, because I am not a kiss ass and I refuse to be a 'directors pet'. I am decently smart, I suppose. I cannot draw nor paint, I am not attractive in an inspiring way. I love music, but I have no rhythm. My trust issues make it hard for me to have friends. So I don't. I always feel lost. And I think back to when I was little and I pictured myself as some beautiful, talented, smart girl who isn't scared that her life will go nowhere. And now here I am, realizing all I am is some wanna be writer, drinking coffee and being a cliché. For some reason I’m deeply depressed but my eyes refuse to let my tears out. Probably because this is one of the things I’ve always struggled with. I guess I just accepted it. I'm nothing. I'll live some dull life until I lose it and blow my brains out. I’m gonna guess when I’m forty. Better to burn out than fade away.

Note I was somewhat kidding about the suicide, if it does happen it won't be for awhile.