More drinking don'ts.
Tue, 2002-06-18 17:02
#1
More drinking don'ts.
Don't snog him that looks like one of them fit footballers after copious amounts of voddie ...coz he doesn't.
Don't tell Debs-the-Dyke that if you were that way inclined you'd deffinately 'give-her-one' because she'll spend the next three weeks trying to get you 'that way inclined' (sorry Debs if you read this, you're a gorgeous person, but I still don't fancy you)
don't sing ... I mean it, don't sing.
Don't decide to walk the eight miles home coz it'll be fun .. believe me it isn't.
And if you do ... don't get half way home and decide to nip into the 24/7 and play with the free car-wash. Yes it was a warm evening *before* you had the shower--it was bloody freezing afterwards, and the chaps from your wet thighs rubbing together for six miles were'nt pretty the next morning.
If you decide to doss on a friend's setee just rember that you haven't brought any clean underwear for the next morning and you have to get home in that see-through shirt. Yes the nipple plasters seem like a good idea at the time, but just give thought to the intense pain of tender nipples after you pull the buggers off ... If you have a double D chest make sure that your mate has BIG plasters to hand.
The three am BMX race was a good idea .. but remember that those wheelie bins are out to get you, and casualty staff find anything funny by six thirty when you finally get patched up.
cartwheels down the Forton services food queue get you thrown out ... this leaves you very hungry.
Once your child has past the age eighteen barrier, it's wonderful to go for a pint with him. It's even better when you casually meet up with him in a nightclub and can go up to him with your arms spread wide and say "Mammy's pissed bless me" but watch out for the phrase "Me mam's paying"
If you are a care in the Community nurse don't go to work with a raging hangover and galloping vertigo the next morning. It's not fun getting stuck in a clients stannah, and can be quite alarming for the client.
Before you indulge in that twelth double vodka just remember the first call the next morning involves enemas and excretia.
martin_t
we have had an abc drink in camden, not that well attended the last one...I'm up for another one
martin_t
don't be rude to people you work with and have to see the next day....*winces*
Sooz
I think Ari's got a public information fetish ... most of his involve signs and road thingies.
Ely I was once rather the worse for wear and the world was going round at quite an alarming rate. So I asked Tim to get me a bushbaby next time Australia came round. He said that he couldn't do that and I went on for ages about the fact that if he cared about me, he'd get me a bushbaby. The next morning of course he accused me of unrelenting bullying by bushbaby and I denied all knowlege.
On another occassiona we came home after a 'few' drinks and got into a huge argument. I stormed out to take the dog for a walk (knowing that he'd follow me). We went up this steep country lane type thingie with him trying to get round me and me bearing a grudge to the bitter end. Eventually I swung round to yell at him and fell in a huge bunch of nettles. I looked up at him pityfully and in my most pathetic voice asked him to 'get me up please'
He reached out a hand to help me, and I added
"But don't you dare touch me!"
iceman
don't make grandiose and complex plans for the weekend when down the pub with mates on a Friday night, as even though at the time all will say, great idea, and why not and lets do it, come the following day half of them will be too hungover to remember what you said, one will have remembered some vitally important thing to do like renew their car tax and the others will have rung each other before you even woke up and arranged to go to Camden market without you.
dont assume that you have anything to apologise for, its likely that whoever you need to say sorry to falls into the half who dont remember a thing that happened the previous night
dont go to the pub and get wrecked if you absolutely have to get to the post office before it closes to renew your car tax
if you do decide to go to camden, consider if any other friends might want to come along as well
justyn_thyme
If you must make elaborate plansover the telephone for a date while in a blackout, make sure to write down all the details before passing out, including name of person, when and where to meet them, their phone numbers, etc. and make sure the person in question has your details as well; they might be in a blackout as well. Best to confirm everything well before showing up.
iceman
Seems to me that Camden is fairly easy to get to, even allowing for the fact that members live all over the country.
I would prefer to go to Camden market during the day, even a Sunday can be quite fun, as you can all mill around and look at stalls and buy stuffn and so on, then go for a drink.
The key to all of this is arranging a date when more than two people can go, and making sure that the meeting place is a pub so we can spend an hour there before zooming off to the shops.
I know some people work Saturdays and by picking a Sunday perhaps more may be able to attend.
Of course somebody who has been to Camden market more than once might help with picking a good pub and providing directions to it from the station.
***
There is of course no limit to where we all can meet, you could pick a landmark and go there, such as I dunno, the Tower Of London, London Eye, Tat Modern or even Lloyds of London, which I know is in the city and there is bugger all to do there but I can see it from my window at work :)
***
Camden probably. Soon.
iceman
martin_t
don't fall asleep on the tube and wake up in epping forest, or morden, or wimbledon, or edgware...
or on the train and wake up in chingford, or walthamstow...
it can be very disconcerting to wake up at an unfamiliar stop...and on the last train, it can be a tad expensive getting home...
justyn_thyme
And if you fall asleep on one of the West Side lines in Manhattan and fail to get off at 72nd Street going north, your next stop is 125th Street Harlem where you do not want to find your sorry drunk white a*s in the middle of the night.
1legspider
Don't board a fully laden bus at 5 in the morning after two of those chilli Hamburguesas, that is driven by a mad Spanish bus driver and whose route is going to hug the hilly coastline for the next 3 and a half hours... sea dipping in and out of view.
Especially if at the back of the bus.. sweating from the exertion
of trying to keep your insides intact.. the passenger in the seat
in front of you is wearing a pair of neat white socks...
Andrea
Nice, funny...but what's a stannah?
phish
this a reason to not drink:
xxxxxxx: pised as fart
Ivoryfishbone: hahahahhaa
xxxxxxx: me am
xxxxxxx: lolol
Ivoryfishbone: old tart
xxxxxxx: 2 btklews wine at babry
xxxxxxx: eeek
xxxxxxx: bbq
Ivoryfishbone: HAHHAHAHA
xxxxxxx: oh dearrrr lololojol
Ivoryfishbone: lololololol
Ivoryfishbone: i have lost my charger
xxxxxxx: cherfer? for phoien?
Ivoryfishbone: i think i can interpret your slurring
xxxxxxx: arghhh
xxxxxxx: *givbes iip*
xxxxxxx: lololkololoool
(name obscured to protect modesty)
Liana
argghhhhhhhh
who was that?????
*coughs nervously*
iceman
I have a spare Nokia phone charger at work.
***
Apparently I once was so drunk I fell down stairs and passed out, and my wife left me there for a good two hours. I have no memory of this, although she did say I held on to my best mate at the time's ankle and pleaded with them not to go.
I think it was the Christmas I got a right royal roasting and a warning about my attitude at work.
I got canned in February the following year.
iceman
iceman
An electric chair lift for those unable to whizz up three flights of stairs.
***
Don't start snogging the liitle blonde you found looking miserable because about an hour later she'll admit to you in a moment of clarity that she had just been sick before you kissed her.(As I once did at a disco in my local town)
Dont go to the bake and chuck because you will definitely see the pie again before morning.
Drink 12 cans of out of date Newcastle Brown ale because it's cheap and nearly fall off the wall down the Smack because you are drunk
Don't order a huge kebab unless you can pay for it - the same goes for enormous curries, bottles of cheap red wine in swanky pubs and chicken burgers
justyn_thyme
Don't try whizzing up three flights of stairs. It's even worse than p**sing up a rope.
Ari
HIS? HIS????
Oooh, another one - don't sleep in car parks
funky_seagull
Don't puke all over the bouncer on your way out of the club.. cause bouncers are hard.. and when you're pissed it's hard to run properly.
Saucepot Ari
A sunday would be super.
iceman
In the fullness of time, I will start a Camden thread. As you know I like to have a plan and will need some time to sort something out.
Again if a member is a regular visitor to Camden market could they add some comments about getting there, what's good, what's bad?
Cheers
Iceman
martin_t
don't tell your boss he's a @!#$....
Sooz
when the rooms spinning, don't even bother waiting for Austrtalia to come round, because the bastard who you've been sleeping with for six months isn't going to pluck you a bushbbaby no matter how much you slur your case for one. See its not as though my needs are unreasonable.
ely whitley
sooz, what's the bushbaby thing? I don't get it.
Sooz
Ice, next time you go to Camden Market can I come please? it's my favourite place on earth (Well apart from Barcelona and the monastary at Paleokastritsa in Corfu). I love that pub on the main street, Summat and Firkin? or is that the one round the corner. And I will have that purple hippie skirt from Marthas stall next time I'm there, oh and the purple docs .. and one of those doodey lacy top thingies that defy gravity and is likely to give me a metal rash to override all other metal rashes. Amazing place. We don't have anything like Camden in sleepy old Dalton-in-furness .. got some nice mountains though.
High Priestess Ari
I'm up for a trip to Camden too. Can we arrange an ABC outing? We could exchange tips on what not to do when drinking
Ari
Don't throw up on the bouncer's shoes - it's not a good way to convince him you're fine, just fine.
Don't tell your male friend (who's infatuated with you) that you actually really, really, really like him, he's a great guy, and under other circumstances you'd be with him like a shot, because even though you won't remember it, HE will.
Don't walk home and steal road signs on the way, get stopped by the police, and when asked where you got them reply with 'Where didn't I get them?' and laugh until you fall over.
Don't jump in the River Cam. Seriously, just don't.
Don't steal traffic cones and arrange them artistically around your friend's garden. It may be funny to you, but she will not see the amusing side.
Don't steal signs from your friend's mother's place of work and arrange them artistically around his living room. Same reasons as above.
Don't make friends with strangers and then offer them a bed for the night. It scares your parents when they come in to check on you and find a strange boy in your bed, with you nowhere in sight (or in this case, the spare room).
Don't swap clothes with other people. It absolutely ruins your knickers when said person is several times bigger than you.