Christmas Sales

Could I order a Pocket sized fold up instant wardrobe packed with loads of non crease clothes so I can just look totally different from one moment to another if I get bored. Would that be possible? Do you sell time machines? On the subject of hoovers do you sell remote controlled ones? Wolfgirl could order a an identity card for you to be in every group you'd like to be?

*wrapping a Phucking Oracle for Stormy* Who ordered the Whippet Whoccing Kit? Whoever it was, please DO NOT send any more poems about your Loyalty Card walking out on you. This job is hard enough without having to read more crap than is neccessary. Switch or Mastercard only in future, you total bleeding imbecile! Have a Merry Xmas. The Staff Ta Chucks Wrap Up Dept.

kimwest is fab ... i am a Fan

chapter 105 whoc.theplanet is a part of energis.com the end

gosh it's quiet tonight. perhaps the chit chat of hacking has got to everyone? a highly unlikely scenario. imagine the plan being hatched at dr. nasty's hacking den: "well bwian, that abc site is ripe for cherry hacking" "yeah fwank, wot shall we do to em?" "I know, we will change the server addy's on the message forum" "bwilliant bwian, that will scare em. best we leave the west of the site alone though. don't want to upset these authors too much much. deadly wiv pen and ink they are!" "yeah but, as a cunning plan we could also make sure the front page didn't change for a few days huh?" "yeah, lets do it man" I was going to do my xmas list but now i'm scared it will be stolen by the whoccy.choccy.hacker.schmacker

but then I changed my mind. this is my list of presence. apologies if I miss anyone but I'm doing this live. Mark Yelland Brown: a lion bar. Tony Cook: 2 seedless grapes. Andrew Pack: some new briefs. Lisa Mangan: a date with Toby Clements Steven Gardiner: a char person to help with the cleaning. Em: a steamy night with Basil De Bond Eddie Gibbons: a berger (not a lot of kop, I know) Liana: a hunky czech (book). Andrea: 2 right boots (to balance those left clogs). Fish: a free flight to aberdeen. Robert: nothing - the bastard!. Karl Wiggins: a voucher for coffee at your local Wimpey. Ralph: a date with danny la rue. Auntie Jackie: a love child. Mississippi: legal aid to prove it wasn't him. Martin Togher: a piss up with gloria hunniford. Linsi: washing powder. probably daz. Eri'c: an english grandma. Barry Wood: sustainable pine. Roy: a long story joke book. Justin Thyme: "USA involvement in two world wars" - short version. fey mouse: confidence. Primate: monkey nuts. Funky Seagull: yeah man. whatever you say. bliss. Professor of desire: whatever you want. talent by return pls. Kim West: some new threads - to replace worn out ones. Mayman: it depends on the woman. John Lewis: something oversold knowingly. ok thats me burnt out. I started this at 12.50. appo logies if you have been missed out. put tongue firmly in cheek the rest of rest you. Herods

How many days til Christmas? *hops about excitedly on one foot in expectation of luvvly pressy from storms*

Wanna do a swap, Liana? I prefer yours...

Will find one for you Andrea, and keep him warm til you visit :o)

I would like to order an Unrhyming Dictionary for Liana (for those awkward moments when she inadvertantly rhymes 'orange' with... er... whatever rhymes with 'orange'). An anthology of short poems about small birds for people with even smaller brains, for Phyllis the Pecker Puller. A Used S-Bend for Thew. Somewhere to keep his thoughts. 'A Guide to Hacking' by Graeme Le Saux, for Jim Hacker. 'Terrorism for Dummies' for George Dublya. 'Apostrophe Domine' by Pink Floyd, for Eric. A Pip Pip Squeaker, for Tony Cook. A keyboard hotkey that types out 'Emily Dubberley' correctly at Ten to Gin in the morning, for Elimy Duberbely.

Off to Queasyjet office now... *grabs passport* Ooops, just remembered they ain't got one...damn! *parks arse behind PC once more*

What was it I didn't do this time?

stormy, i am most upset. i'm going to have to make myself a new smiths compiliation so that i can mope all christmas...and what am i going to do with this Kerrang Karoake Kit [including Free Air Guitar] that i've ordered?

I'd just like a plain old dictionary for Miss. L. Toe....for when she inadvertently spells inadvertently inadvertantly.....

Thanks for the correction. Twas merely a tipyng eror. Are you Eric in disguise?

Stormy, will you ever let me forget the Gloria Hunniford thing......she's a great Channel Five presenter and all that (can you have a great Channel 5 presenter?) but I'm not sure I want her for Christmas.....then again.....thinking about it......you might still make my christmas........what would she be wearing then stormy, I assume you would wrap her up ?

A tombstone for a celebrities (?) deceased canine for Eddie Pedestal polish for Liana Ooh, ooh, an abctales chess set, like you see in classy Sunday Supplements (just £29.95 per piece, one piece delivered per month) Mark Y-B and Mississippi as the Bishops (that way, they can never set foot on the same colour square and we keep them apart) Stormy Petrel and Funky Seagull as the Rooks (all three are birds, at least, even if they are incapable of moving in a straight line most days.) Ivoryfishbone the Queen Eddie the King Andrea and Robert, the quirky moving paragons of fairness can be Knights And individual pawns for the rest of us.

please can i have a stationery cupboard with a revolving door?

left hand drive hoover for liana ... she is going in for Czech Republic Houswife of the Year next year ...

....wants to get dizzy..........

Sorry, we've only got a revolving cupboard with a stationary door. Next!

...has stopped spinning....but really liked the sensation......falls to the floor laughing...

Nice try, Stormy, but looks like you've blown it, mate...

Look don't lets argue, I'll have for christs sake. I've heard she's a real handful!

*puzzled* Hoover?

*additional order of hoovering instruction manual ... *

I got so excited about her I wasn't watching the screen, still you get my drift!

Good.....please make it a simple one, so the kids can easily understand it....

Individual porns, did you say, Andrew? Clog for Hoover is stofzuiger - literally, dust sucker. Still wanna order one for Liana, Fish???

....Is confused about washing powder...you saying I stink eh Stormy? "why I outa!"

*wants* that hotkey!

*wants* that hotkey! Have you got any idea what having a surname like this is like? Oh to be a Smith...

you smell lovely linsi, like freshly cut grass, like roasting coffee, like fresh bread, like a vanilla pod................

And you, Mr. T, smell of bull @!#$ ;-) keeping an eye on you!!!!!

voyeur.......didn't we cross swords before ? isn't bull***t one word ?....if I was to wear such a scent, I'd have to borrow your supply...I'm sure you've got plenty to spare..........

Oh, now come come Martin - tis all in jest dear friend :-) Bull @!#$ is indeed one word. 'Twas merely an attempt to appease poobumwilly. Don't hate me, dear boy. We have so much in common ;-) And, I'll have you know, I smell indecently delicious.

you're a hackney dweller as well aren't you ? I couldn't hate the smell of the east end..... ;-)

please could i order and Elf Moulding Kit for robert?

Oh..you get closer ;-)

what is all this whoc.theplanet.co.uk business?????

.....at least take me to dinner first...........

Young men these days....they're all SO demanding...

apparently I have it too. brilliant!! now I can post anonymously!! great thread edward. I will give this some thought then return with my stockings bulging. ~wok~

Of course you can have that hotkey, Emily. Just remember to wear oven gloves when you open the parcel. *ouch* Please don't change to Smith - we won't be able to call you Luvverley Dubberley' if you do.

.........not so young anymore......and still hungry.......

No. Exactly the same age as me, I do declare.

mwhahahahahahhahahaaa

......we'll have lots in common then....when we go to the Ivy.........on you

Aparently I am also Whoc the planet too. Sounds like Johnathon Ross singing one of Stormys favourite singles..... Are we all down the bunker already using the same pc? Is there a hacker at large? Or is someone htmling for abc and making a major @!#$ up? mysterious..........

Go to the Ivy? You listening, dear Fish? ;-)