ABCtales is behind the times.
'I thought this site was supposed to be a happening site, boss?'
Mark raised his good eyebrow, the other having been lost in a quiz night.
'Happening, friend Mark?' Lairy liked to answer a question with a question.
'Yes, happening!' said Mark whilst wondering why Lairy was trying to arrange what looked like an eyebrow onto his top lip.
'We are verily happening, indeed, friend Mark,' said Lairy despiteth findeth himself spaking in olde tongue, verily.
'Soo, lieke, 'ow come we is out of date?' said Mark, trying his best to sound like Ali G.
Mark did the sideways 'v' with his fingers, crossing them over his eyes.
'Out of date?' Lairy nearly dropped his new mousetache into his redpepper/guardian/bigissue/beer lunch, 'wtf r u onabt?'
Lairy liked to keep up with what he thought was text-speak.
'Itz like da forum clk iz wrng,' said Mark, copying Lairy, but worrying that Lairy had now changed into an SS uniform.
'If it's good enough for the royals, it's good enough for me, friend Mark!' Lairy goosestepped around the office.
'Why are you goose-stepping around the office, friend Lairy?' asked Mark, unaware of how fucking boring repetition can be when reading a story, 'I iz in tne wiv de nu forum, daz all,' said Lairy, 'an soz is ma nu bitch, archrgrwl. She can deal wiv it'
'But boss,' Mark was worried about the time...
'ah, fog on the tyne,' said Lairy, 'its all mine, all mine, and what isn't can be archer's.'
Once again, Lairy was clearly delusional. 'Boss, the forum is an hour out of date and Arhergrowl has buggered off!'
'Oh, wotta cnt.' Said Lairy.
And that was that.
The All New Pepsoid the Second!
The All New Pepsoid the Second!