Worst towns and cities to drive in the UK - excluding London

OXFORD. I was in Oxford between 2000 and 2005 and when I first went down there I couldn't believe the idiocy of the traffic scheme. I know Oxford well as I was born there. But ignoring the daft measures the Council had brought in, I started to think outside the box, and maybe Council people have to pass an idiot test. If you pass it you fail, and if you succeed you fail. They had Cornmarket dug up 3 times in the 5 years that I was there, that's the main shopping street, causing mayhem to shoppers and businesses alike, because incorrect procedures were followed, and the main street began cracking. Why? Heads should roll. No one seems accountable, the last I heard was that the leader of the council had his pay increased. He should have been shot!

Croydon. ~ www.fabulousmother.com

Very definitely, Croydon. ~ www.fabulousmother.com

In terms of pure congestion, I'm told by reliable sources that Cambridge is pretty awful at rush hour. I drive home every day via the the M4 and M25 (past Heathrow) and so see my fair share of traffic jams without even entering a city. Bristol's pretty bad if you have a large car because it is full of very narrow gaps between parked cars.

I stole that chain, BBF. Sorry. And I shouldn't really have opened that swimming pool either. ~ www.fabulousmother.com

I feel that I got my driving wings in Rome. We were in 4 lanes of traffic on the outside, then girlfriend said left now! So I did. And it's amazing how people get out of your way. I was later taken around the labyrinthine tunnels that are part of the Vatican. Girlfriend was connected.

I don't drive but I have heard that Lourdes, Southern France is quite mad. Don't know if this is still the case but in yesteryears, at a particular time in the afternoon, the direction of the one way system actually reversed. And there are coachload upon coachload of elderly nuns trying to get down these tiny wendy windy streets to the hotels. jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

' I was later taken around the labyrinthine tunnels that are part of the Vatican. Girlfriend was connected.' She was the lovechild of Mother theresa and Pope Pius X conceived in a bizarre IVF plot spanning decades? Whilst you were out there, Cardinal Phlegm of Latvia was murdered in what appeared to be a bizarre ritual killing. This was in fact to prevent him revealing your girlfriend's true identity. You were the main suspects and followed a series of cryptic clues across Rome with the police at your heels? Same old...same old... jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

'And there are coachload upon coachload of elderly nuns trying to get down these tiny wendy windy streets to the hotels.' hahaha, Jude - that should be a scene in a film. ~ www.fabulousmother.com

I'm sure there was a Monty Python animation along those lines... :/ I also don't drive, but I feel I should mention the Hagley Road in Birmingham. I walk up and down there every day to get to work - 40 minutes each way - and due to the ridiculous level of congestion during rush hour it frequently actually takes longer by bus than on foot. Get the vehicles off the roads! Let's see a mass return to Shanks's Pony! pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

Anywhere with a stupid pointless one-way system which is still (for reasons unbeknownst to man) absolutely bloody everywhere -- not just cities, every crappy little town on this sad-arse island. Best place to have a knock? Spain, I reckon. I put a huge dint in the back bumper of a hire car in a car park 'cause they had these stupid dwarf bollards for no discernible reason. I was cacking myself -- I was pretty sure I had excess waiver, but you start doubting everything...and at the very least I expected reams of red tape. Got back to the airport. Bloke said, "No probs, you're covered" -- I had to write a sentence about what happened and that was it. The insurance was as cheap as chips too, about a third of what you would pay here. http://naptime500.blogspot.com

Croydon's a London Borough.

Nilton Keynes - far too logical, far too many roundabouts and relies on knowledge of compass points of which i have none. Juliet

Girlfriend was related to Jesuit Head Honcho Jude. We were given a tour of all the tunnels beneath the Vatican where they helped save prisoners of war. You don't know about this? You're not supposed to.

I once circled Huntingdon three times looking for a way in.

Croydon has a town hall and a mayor, so I guess it’s also a town. It did try for city status, bless it, but was beaten by Brighton & Hove, mwaaaa haaaa haaaa. The only good thing about Croydon was The Cartoon. ~ www.fabulousmother.com

I always get lost in Bristol - and normally get lost in Brimingham. They both drive me mad in navigational terms with dreadful signposting and crazy lanes. But driving in Naples must take the biscuit. Madeira is difficult, Cagliari is a nightmare and Paris can be hell but nothing even begins to compare with Naples. they completely ignore traffic lights, the signposting is virtually non existent, the maps don't seem to reflect reality, people try to break into your car as you are driving, other people just cut straight across you at the slightest opportunity (or even non opportunity) and the whole thing is utterly harrowing. I needed some very stiff drinks after that little adventure. I think the rest of them must have had the stiff little drinks before they set out.

My girlfriend has been driving for a mere couple of months, & she has been concerned about the prospect of driving around Birmingham (or Brimingham... ;) ...) without her navigator (me) and an A-Z... so I've told her the above, and she now feels a little less dunce-like... ta, TC! :) pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

The worst town to drive in is any town you don't live in. Spaghetti junction my arse. It's just a big bloody roundabout with a few too many exits. http://naptime500.blogspot.com

I like those roundabouts that are made up of lots of little roundabouts, so you can go around them the wrong way on the inside. I especially like directing American drivers round the one at Hatton Cross.

"roundabouts that are made of lots of little roundabouts"...?! "so you can go around them the wrong way on the inside"...?! Forgive my non-driver-y confusion, but are you talking about the sorts of road features which take you through cracks in the fabric of spacetime...??!! pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

There are virtually no roundabouts in the USA so when an American confronts one, he/she tends to be somewhat confused. When we had an office in LA (ah, those heady days!) I often used to go for lunch to the japanese cookery school in Santa Monica. There was a great big, very plain roundabout outside with four exits at NSE and W. Very simple really. The locals dealt with it fine but tourists were a hoot to behold. I saw one drive straight over the middle of it, a number turn the wrong way onto it, others get on to it and then just stop in total confusion. I used to get a table outside just to watch the fun. What they do when confronted by maddan and the range of little roundabouts I have no idea but I wish there was a Japanese cookery school with outside tables right beside the one described. O what fun.

The more famous one is in Swindon, but I always liked the way they put one just outside of Heathrow (in fact, right next to a whole bunch of car rental places) to really throw the tourists.

I never learned to drive so that it could never be my turn not to drink if going out for the night. It is on the 'to do list' I have heard that the 'Magic Roundabout' in Hemel Hempstead is fun. I quote "But, as roundabouts go, this one really is rather amazing. With the River Gade running through the middle of it, it originally used to be just one large roundabout, but became so congested that it needed a spot of renovation. It was during this period of renovation that it turned into the wonderful monstrosity that you can see today. The 'Magic Roundabout' has also been described as a 'who dares wins' roundabout and as 'hilarious, totally aggressive and kick-arse'. Wow. All this over a roundabout. Well, for a start, it consists of one large roundabout, surrounded by six mini-roundabouts - one for each of the six original junctions. And how does that work, you might ask? Basically, each mini-roundabout is treated just like a normal roundabout, with the main roundabout acting as a sort of distraction. But the really distinguishing motif of this grand cosmic wheel of traffic is that you are perfectly entitled to turn right at any of the mini-roundabouts as well as turn left. This means you can quite easily find yourself driving anti-clockwise around the main roundabout. And let's not forget, clockwise and clockwise only is the rule of thumb for all other British roundabouts. As you might well imagine, this causes a lot of confusion. And when it was introduced roughly 30 years ago it caused so much confusion that policeman were positioned on each of the six roundabouts in an attempt to direct the lost traffic as bewildered drivers abandoned their cars, weeping into their now useless highway code books, simply unable to grasp the weirdness of this two-way circle." jude Read Styx' Blog http://www.diaryofamaddrunkbastard.com

Oh, said girlfriend was a direct lineal descendant of one Bill Shakespear Jude. I've lived. Me.