tell me what you think

Hi Tracey, I've had a look at The Lake. Have a look at this link, it's a really good little guide to some things that are worth doing if you want to get better at short story writing: http://www.wikihow.com/Write-a-Short-Story Plot is really important, but so is a lot of other stuff such as deciding how you'll tell the story and making sure that your grammar, punctuation and spelling are okay. I'd suggest that you have a read of the article then maybe go back and do a bit of editing, maybe doing another a draft. Hope this helps. Cheers, Mark

Tracey, I got that there were disappearances, that there was a spooky lake and some stuff going on, but I found it all a bit confusing because your grammar and punctuation got in the way of the story you were telling. I found the dialogue especially confusing. It's usual that when a new person speaks, they start on a new line like: "It's usual for a new person to start speaking on a new line," said Mark. "Is it?" said Tracey. "Yes. It's not a hard and fast rule, but a useful one to begin with." It makes it clearer who's saying what. Here's a link to an article about dialogue in short stories with a few handy hints: http://tinyurl.com/2ewuhf Hope this helps. Cheers, Mark

I agree - the punctuation is almost non existent so it really needs some work to be able to follow the plot. At the moment it's very difficult to read, so some work is needed. I also think that it needs characterisation. What we have here is a basic story - but we know very little or nothing about the people involved. It needs work, Tracey, but keep at it and it could become a decent story! all the best, Tony

It is difficult to read, but it has quite an impetus behind it. It was very dreamlike - you could use this as a dream sequence in a longer piece. But it needs to be framed by something more structured. Have a look at some of the other pieces on the site and see what you feel works and what doesn't. Giving feedback on other people's work can help you think about the way you structure your own pieces. The red eyes spooked me out, though.