From mental ill health to inspiration

Nice to see you Pud. I don't think of myself as well-qualified on poetry, but I enjoyed much of Caged Bird. I particularly liked, of all things, the STORY. The character of the bird comes across well - quite a nervous, flighty type. Is the bird symbolic of the writer??? But you're probably here for the criticism, so I'll do my best: I said that the character of the bird comes across well - quivering, shivering, delicate - I think therefore using "timid" in the first line is probably not needed. You should rely on the actions and secondry descriptions do the work for you. Secondly, you mention the vibrant colour of the sky and the fragrant blooms - this works well for the bird's "dream" of freedom; however, you don't mention the colour of the bird. It might have been nice to leave the reader with a colourful description of the bird as this would have contrasted well with the grey wall, perhaps suggesting that the bird still harbours this dream of freedom, despite not leaving the cage. Thirdly, a small point, I think: you mention "feathers" when describing the bird: with a poem, every word counts - and I'd already guessed it had feathers! You might want to change this line to something else- perhaps something reminiscent of feathers (I don't know, you're the poet!) I hope these pointers are taken in good heart - like I said, I'm not much of a poet, sodon't take anything above as gospel...