really need advice please

Salam Palvi, I read a few poems of yours. I'd say you are too concerned about rhyme. Pu the rhyme aside, focus on flow and images. Best wishes, Alex ecuaruso@mail.ru

Merhaba/Hello Palvi, I read one of your poems and two of your horror stories. I dont want to make a comment over only one poem but at least I can tell you that you could make a good Gothic Rock song writer:) I liked "the Portrait" reminding me of wicked Japanese horror movies but my opinion is that the dialogue is not the only tool to emphasize a character's feature in the story. I mean your characters were talking and behaving exactly as if I had written the story myself. Maybe it's because you think that all the people in such stories speak the same more or less (ie. " I see dead people", "We will all die here" etc.). Remember, it's your world and your rules that must come first in writing. Otherwise, there wouldnt be a concept like "style" in writing. Improve your style by giving more freedom to your writing. Actually I am telling you the same what Alexei had told you about your poetry. Besides, I am sure you could think of a more shocking ending. Waiting to be scared:) Good ideas.

Palvi, I must confess that your poetry is not to my taste. The rhyme is awkward and doesn't work - accept the advice above and just write - don't try and force the rhyme! Your short stories are a lot better. They have too many typos and at times they read awkwardly but the ideas are very good. I think you have it in you to become a good writer but you must just keep writing - you will get better if you write every day - and read, read, read. Go for the classics as well as contemporary fiction and poetry. Find out what makes those writers great and use it yourself. I look forward to reading more of your work.

You have a hack for writing, my friend... keep on... Best wishes, Alex ecuaruso@mail.ru

Now I myself like the rymes, maybe a bit less, but I'm a pushover. Not bad at all.