http://www.abctales.com/story/silver-spun-sand/seasons-of-the-sun

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Sat, 2006-05-13 00:11

I like this one. The allegory isnt over-stressed, so you dont feel like it's being rammed down your throat. And it's sentimental without being slushy, which is always a good thing. Nicely done.

Sat, 2006-05-13 09:47

Juliet OC

http://www.abctales.com/story/silver-spun-sand/seasons-of-the-sun i agree this is deeply romantic without slushiness, and though the theme isn't a new one this comes across as original and fresh. Juliet

Juliet

Sat, 2006-05-13 12:57

Gilbert

I would have to disagree on this one. I`ve liked loads of SSS`s work, but feel this has a few cliches-ie "in the springtime of their years", " then gently kissed her ruby lips", "leafy branches swayed". The general tone of the poem is nicely understated, but IMO, when dealing with a subject which has been written about extensively, (Love in age) there has to be a totally original approach. Just my opinion, I stress.

Sat, 2006-05-13 15:18

Silver Spun Sand

I agree, in part anyway, Gilbert and thank you for taking the time and trouble to make a comment, except to say this poem is partly autobiographical - twee though it may be! We bought a house, about five years ago, in the countryside that has a large, green hill and in the middle is a big willow tree and, without going into too fine a detail, it is 'our story' even if it does sounds unoriginal! The obvious cliches etc. that I used, were hopefully to convey a feeling of naivety and simpilcity which to me, best compliment the rather old-fashioned tone of the poem. Guess that's me all over really -just an old-fashioned girl at heart! Thanks once again Gilbert and to Jonesy and Juliet for your feedback too. Ty SSS

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