RE: hidden child chapter one

Topic posted in response to hidden child chapter one : http://www.abctales.com/story/widdicombe81/hidden-child-chapter-one
This is very descriptive and you obviously have a talent for writing. I would agree that the grammar and spelling need a lot of work but the underlying sense comes through. I would suggest a bit more white space, separate the more dramatic sections in to one or two line paragraphs. Keep on writing, its the only way to get better!;)