what inspires you

The joy of love HED KEEQUAI

Walking; or, just sitting at the computer.

Nuclear powerstations. Deep growling monuments to the awesome power of nature tamed by the gods of science. I can understand why man has throughout the course of history built himself statues and bowed down to them as though they were gods. Because, I swear, as we walked North along the beach, past the silent ghost of Sizewell A and the new reactor of Sizewell B came into view I wanted to get down on my knees and worship. I don't think I will ever be able to express the feeling that swept over me as I stood exactly between those twin temples. It was a desire, a longing, the intensity of which was almost sickening, frightening. I was afraid but the fear was that of excitement; a trembling anticipation that the thing or perhaps the person or being that I desired really existed and that one day I will look upon Its face and I felt as though every cell in my body was shining with an unutterable yearning that is evoked by the world and yet can never be satisfied by it. Yet that desire is itself the most wonderful thing I can ever experience. It is a compass, a pointer to something 'other' and 'beyond'. That is the part I can tell you about but never really share with you, we can understand we all have similar experiences but the fundamental stuff that those experiences is built from fits us uniquely like a key into a lock. But on another level, a level that in comparison is mundane, yet perhaps worth speaking of - when the pain of beauty and joy subsided, and Patrick had held me to reassure me that the moment was alright, we started to walk back towards the village. I suddenly became aware of a glorious paradox . To my right, inside the reactor there was a purity of 'stuff' - of everything in its smallest, simplest form and yet so incredibly powerful. And to my left was 'stuff' at the other end of the spectrum. Atoms forming silicon-dioxide molecules in the sand and carbon playing the unconscious rules of life and evolution; complex and diverse, from the sea kelp to the cockles, to the gulls and that complicated interplay took place under the reaction of the sun and I thought about all the other stars and the stuff of the universe and the sense of contrast was so strong I felt like I was being pulled apart in all directions. jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

That sure is a lot of "stuff" Jude. Visit me http://www.radiodenver.org/

I'm just warming up Denver! I feel a whole collection of poetry and prose based on that day brewing in my creative vats. It wasn't a trip or an outing. It was a Pilgrimage. A journey that was physical on the outside but sacred in essence. jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

The Stuff of Life Visit me http://www.radiodenver.org/

indeed, and how fine it is to be fully alive and tuned in to it! jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

Start now, before you lose the train of thought. Visit me http://www.radiodenver.org/

"awesome power of nature tamed by the gods of science." Oh, yes, the 'gods' of science, who 'tamed' nature. Ask the people who lived near Chernobyl about the 'taming' of nature by those scientific gods, especially those whose children died of leukaemia after the accident. Call me a non-believer in that particular polytheism.

I understand the risks of nuclear power...and the problems of disposing of radioactive waste. It is a power that has been tamed in that the neutron chain reaction is controlled. But as Chernobyl proved, even a 'tame' lion can savage and kill unexpectedly one day. Part of my awe is engendered by the danger. I am not saying nuclear power is fab or trying to be political AG. I'm just telling you how it makes me feel to be there. jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

I probably came out sounding more ascerbic than I intended... I was being wry. I'm not really able to discuss nuclear energy *without* getting political! :-) I imagine the sight must be quite... looming...

That's cool - I understand where you're coming from. I hope one day renewables will meet the nation's power needs and we will no longer need nuclear energy. I am sure that if that happens, the good Lord will inspire me with something equally as err...indeed...looming! jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

Go to the Grand Canyon, jude, and you will see something the good Lord created on His own through the destructive powers of water, wind, and time; those powers seem a lot more awesome than anything Man can create! I understand your feelings about that power station but for me the awe would be mixed with a good dose of uneasiness! As it is, I feel a similar sort of awe when passing the sugar factory in Bury St. Edmunds (I rather have a factory fetish). All those pipes! All that steam!

I have a factory fetish too! Many of the things that pull on my invisible chords inside are man made and to many 'ugly'. I seem to have an odd gift for seeing the beauty in ugliness. I think I am probably an idolator! I have had those moments when confronted with nature, I remember one particular experience being in my garden on a stark winter day when I was about six. Or another time when my father took me to see the migrating lapwings. But it is odd how I have little control over what inspires and what doesn't. I remember standing on the top of Hellvellyn in the lake district and drinking in the beautiful view. But the experience I'm trying to convey is beyond that mere appreciation or even awe of beauty or even power. It isn't the thing I'm looking at and being with - it is the complete sensation of being possesed with that bitter-sweet longing. CS Lewis described them as a visionary gleam that points to something other and outer. But I do have a wish to see the Grand Canyon some day! jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

Your 'good lord' had absolutely bugger all to do with the Grand Canyon. It IS one hell of a ditch though, and it'll be amazing when it's finished.

George, just because I feel like chasing this discussion on its tangential course (ah, I am off work again today....bliss) I think that to a great extent you're correct. The good Lord did not design the Grand Canyon Until recently I would describe myself as a Deist (like Jefferson or more recently Flew) with a belief in an absolute 'cause' but not providence. There is a 'God' (for want of a better word) but no room for divine intervention or supernatural revelation. I am particularly impressed with recent theistic arguments of 'fine tuning to intelligent design'. But whilst a being could have orchestrated this I certainly felt that there was no room for personal interaction between God-Being and lil'ol'jude! Similarly people jump to the conclusion that because one believes in a 'God', one also believes in some kind of afterlife. I do not believe in life after death (I once feared it) and I do not disbelieve in it. It is an irrelevant concept whilst I am in the here and now. There is something about your particular brand of atheism that I really admire and respect in you, in fact, its a quality that runs deep in you and that it one of personal responsibility. But, the moments of 'inspiration' I mentioned certainly point me towards something 'other' than me. I feel the presence of a Power Greater than myself acutely. I also have to look over the incredible events of the past year of my life and it does seem so extraordinary it makes it difficult not to believe. But I find myself more and more leaning to your viewpoint when it comes to 'Religion'. I still take something truly wonderful from the Torah, the Gospels, The Vedas and other Scriptures but the more and more I taste religion (especially the one I was born into) with a more and more discerning sober eye, the more and more ridiculous it seems to me! jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

"what inspires you?" Nothing. Nothing in _this_ world, anyway.

If the good lord did dig the grand canyon then he's a slacker. Man-hour for man-hour he's been shifting less dirt than the average worker digging a hole in the high street.

Nuclear powerstations eh? Luv 'em... I like the word "ascerbic." I feel inspired by just about anything if I am in the right mood... a Wikipedia entry an episode of "Lost" something someone says on the train an advert in a magazine discussions on ABCtales a paperclip (I've had the title for a story, "The Golden Paperclip," going round in my head for years!) ...and so on and so forth. ~PEPS~ “There is no spoon.”

Jude, I knew you'd resolve in your own head, those unresolvable questions that mankind has wasted so much time on for centuries. In the words of Eric Bogle; ' Don't talk to me about life's seasons, don't ask me for answers, don't ask me for reasons, I don't wanna hear, I don't wanna hear it at all. From the moment we're born, we start to die, A man can go crazy, if he keeps asking why, that's just how it is, don't look for a reason in it all.'

Nihilist poetry seems like something of a contradiction...? (where does creativity come from?) ~PEPS~ “There is no spoon.”

http://www.judesworld.net/psizewellpilgrimage.htm can you do me a favour and see if the above link works? Cheers! jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

doesn't work for me (firefox on linux)

grrrr...how about this? http://www.judesworld.net/sizewell.html

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I don't believe it was nihilistic, the guy was simply offering a different viewpoint, one that 'he' saw as positive. Actually it was a short extract from a song, rather than a poem per se. Both links worked for me, Jude. ( Internet Explorer on XP)

seems to work, is it supposed to do anything fancy?

no but can you get the PDF - by clicking on the piccy? jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

I got it, it's very nice.

The first one didn't work the second did. I'm running WIN98. What's a PDF?

Portable Document Format - I think. They're the un-editable files that Acrobat Reader opens. jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

They can be edited. You have to "text select" There's nothing worse than a neighbour with crap wind chimes

Sizewell A looks horrible and square. Sizewell B looks like a big tit so it looks lovely.

I thought 'text select' just enabled you to copy the text rather than edit. I know a pdf can be unlocked if you have the right software. Gawd this converstation has taken a very boring turn and it's all my fault...sorry jude "Cacoethes scribendi" http://www.judesworld.net

yep, you're technically right - you can't edit the text in acrobat or whatever, but it can be edited by selecting the text, cutting and opening it in word or notepad, so you're right....but I'm right in a kinda crude 'you can edit it' sense..if you want to be like that...oh...**yawns" **peels sticky tongue off roof of mouth** There's nothing worse than a neighbour with crap wind chimes

They both worked for me - Mozilla 1.0.5 and windows XP They are haunting photographs but fill me with dread. As the sea levels rise the first thing they come across will be .... nuclear power stations. Oh dear.