JulietOC - Mr and Mrs

Ty for the flag, and yes I can see how the old couple must grate a bit, having a perfect marriage an all. But to me that was part of the point, I was trying to make some comment on the way that marriage is bit like celebrity, you can get it quick, but unless you work at it, or have some talent or commitment it can go just like that. Malcolm and Sheryl have worked at appreciating each other and their marriage (mundane as it seems), Craig and Debbie on the other hand live in a society that has become throwaway, if it isn’t working then chuck it and move on. The Ford Cortina symbolises this difference in the generations. In terms of reality TV, yes I was trying to illustrate its increasingly mean edge, where the more emotionally harrowing the contestants stories the more we want to watch it. And the increasing divide in society between us and them, where we laugh at people because they seem so feckless and the presenters goad us on, set up the laughs. Who hasn’t sat and watched a TV show and thought how sad and tragic ‘these’ people are in a smug I would never behave like that kind of way. But you comments have given me some more ideas, so it may appear again in another guise. Juliet

I get your point, but maybe your gran was having a bad day? Juliet

but you assume they have always been loved up, what strikes me most about successful relationships is that they often fall out of love with each other, but instead of throwing in the towel and looking elsewhere they invest time and effort into falling in love again. Malcolm and Sheryl have both had an affair but they used it to put right what was wrong in their own relationship, oh and i didn't mention becuase they don't like to boast - they are active swingers, there is a hot tub in the garden, you got them on a non-party night :) Juliet

are you posting it on here, would like to read you views of love, i think we come from different viewpoints. As for superior love, no i don't think people in long lasting relationships see themselves as superior, in fact their partner offers them a true reflection warts and all, which young love cannot offer. But they do see themselves as lucky and thankful that they have stopped believing the grass to be greener. fast love has it merits too:) Juliet

My Nan and Grandad were married for 72 years (you get a telegram from the Queen if you reach 70 - and there was me looking for a bespoke card. Doh). They bickered and snapped a fair bit - but it was common knowledge that they never ceased having the hots for each other and enjoyed a happy sex life. This carried on until, for some reason, Grandad got the hump with Nan one year, and they didn’t speak much after that. Nan died within the year, Grandad the year after. They were 92 and 94. Conversely, my other Grandmother had to put up with a feckless, drunk for a husband, who regularly squandered what little money they had down the pub. She was a devout catholic so there was no way she could leave him. She died in her 50s and, although he was told at 18 that if he didn’t stop drinking he’d never make 30, he lived til he was 86.

I enjoyed reading the story very much, however, it left me a bit puzzled as to what it was trying to be. On the one hand there is this juxtaposition of old love/contemporay love, which I have to admit didn't work for me. There is a lot to be said about this subject, historically, socially as well as psychologically, and I didn't think the context of the story gave it much chance to actually reflect on any of those aspects. What I got out of it was just a one dimensional comparison that could be summed up by just saying that the past is better than the present. Surely there must be more to it? (My grandparents stayed together for all of their adult lifes, and in some ways - from the viewpoint of a grandchild - it was idyllic, in other ways I now realise they all had a heavy price to pay as well!) On the other hand, there was the satire of the quiz game show, and I think that worked pretty well. "Rant" and "Feck" put a smile on my face, and the idea of the child support money as a price of a game show made me chuckle. There were a lot of good (sharp) ideas and nuances there, and I wouldn't mind if you got even a bit further (ie more absurd or probably even surreal) than that in order to pinpoint the absurdity of this kind of television. As regards the characters, I thought they were a bit one dimensional and too close to the bone in terms of the clichees one can watch on daytime TV. I didn't quite understand what makes those people tick and where they were coming from (having said that, I often don't understand were those people on Trisha et al are coming from in the first place...), but surely they can't be all dumb and shallow and primitive - there must be some hearts beating there somewhere? All in all, I could detect 3 subjects in the story: the old love/contemporay love juxtaposition, a satire on modern daytime TV, and a satire on a certain underclass in this country. Maybe focussing on one (or two) of them would give it a bit more drive. Just a suggestion. After all it's your story and so: "You decide..." ;-)

kraut ty for such a detailed critique. Your objectivety is a real eye opener. I intially had the idea after a chat with friends about how Mr and Mrs could never work these days as marriages are too short and complicated. The TV stuff just came out as i was writing it - and actually i agree that that is the better material - the underclass was something i have been mulling over for some time as it is becoming increasingly obvious that certain 'types' of people tend to dominate the reality tv programmes. Whether this is because they are chosen intentionally, or whether its because more apply i am not sure, but the story takes the 1st option as its premise. I think with the comments recieved by both yourself and Fergal, that the story ought to focus on the nasty element of reality TV and the people who take part. The old love versus new love is just an added distraction - and your right leaves the characters 1 dimensional and therefore cliches. Cheers for the enlightement i will re work it - soonish. I'll give myself a bit more distance first. Juliet

ty Pesky - i'm really chuffed. Juliet

link for edited version. http://www.abctales.com/story/juliet-oc/mr-and-mrs-21st-century-edited Juliet

Yes I think this definitely works - I didn't read the original, so presumably you dropped the "old-style" couple to concentrate on Craig and Debbie, and do so savagely: "looks down at her saveloy toes encased in nylon oozing out of diamante straps." loved that rather nasty gone-off-meat image!

What a hoot, thought it was really great, so when is ITV going to snatch this up and find some random partners in crime (Ant and Deck prehaps?). My only crit is that we knew he'd been cheating on her right from the start - child of one with ex? Was that an intentional hint?