England Football Manager.

If Sven leads us to world cup glory will the public be happy about his departure? Why is he being dumped anyway (I don't read the news). Cos if its about his personal life, thats just dumb.

Oh and Styx, the reason girls can't be footie managers is because they don't understand the off-side rule, will try to play a 2 9 formation at certain irrational times of the month and will spend more time taking the players round shoe shops for new boots than training.

The offside rule explained for girls You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till. Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have. The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire. Both of you have forgotten your purses. It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes. The shop assistant remains at the till waiting. Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma. She prepares to throw her purse to you. If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes. At a pinch she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, *whilst it is in flight* you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes. Always remembering that until the purse had *actually been thrown* it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

If they think Martin O'Neill is 'English' then so are Big Phil Scolari and Guus Hiddink. Yet none of the genuinely English managers impress sufficiently. Allardyce plays a game that brings results for his blend of over the hill players, Pearce is too raw, Adrian Boothroyd too young, Pardew has had his moments this season but has no decent track record, McLaren looks like a busted flush. If Sven goes - and his salary is ridiculous - then I guess O'Neill is the best bet - but they'll haved to move fast to beat Newcastle to him. Ho Hum.

Thanks Poetjude, Lady P says she understands everything now.

I'd do it for free and a once weekly cod supper. And I bet England would win, too.

You can throw a ball in football?