barn dancing by sadie

http://www.abctales.com/story/sadie/barn-dancing

i liked some of this - it invoked that feeling of intoxicating love, but it seems to be two types of writing - almost journal like as the narrator speaks to the reader, then back into the moment when the narrator is in dialogue. I personally think it would have more power if you showed this intoxication through the 'barn dance' scenario rather than telling the reader how you feel.

Juliet