johnny and the caffeine shaman by pepsoid

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Tue, 2007-05-29 16:37

josiedog

johnny and the caffeine shaman by pepsoid

http://www.abctales.com/story/pepsoid/johnny-and-caffeine-shaman

Daft as a feckin' brush.

Could do with a trim, to dispense with repetition (like when Johnny's told to put down the can of red bull, and "He put down the can of red bull" would be better as "he put down the can", and the size of the coffee pot at the start was done and done again, and done one time too many!)
but... it was a very enjoyable read, pepsoid on form, and I was just thinking today that he don't post enough.

By the time we got to the two Johnnies and the carrot of truth it was kicking.

Daft as a feckin' brush.

Thu, 2007-05-31 15:22

Yan2

Post more, pepsicle. Peps is one of all time fave posters at abc. The guy has an enviable take on the world; evident in his pieces. ;@) When the power of love overcomes the love of power, we'll find peace. - Jimi Hendrix

~It's a maze for rats to try, it's a race for rats to die.~

Sat, 2007-06-02 16:28

pepsoid

Aw shucks, you guys! :) Thanks for the crits... Josie, I agree re the repetition - it is a bit of a "thing" of mine! Sometimes I put in such repititive stuff (as my regular readers may have noticed) out of an attempt at "humour," but I do often worry that it is not funny, but merely repetitive. Anyway, most pleased you generally liked it! Just one question... do you think the Caffeine Shaman should have had a name? Or a little more description of his character? Yan... tiz true, I've not been producing nearly so much fiction these days - not been feeling particularly inspired. But you can, if you so wish, catch some pepsoidian thoughts at www.pepsoid.wordpress.com ! ;) pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

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