Advice Needed

DONT bring them a present. You have no idea what they're into and it will only be seen as sucking up Be normal, be yourself.... Feel free to act shocked if they shock you, but don't pretend. Don't "side" with them if they try and play you off each other. If they're nice kids they'll probably be polite and the situation will be a bit awkward... thats normal it will get easier trust me. after all thats said and done it'll probably be a peice of cake... kids are much more accepting of parents new partners these days. Good lucjk and let us know how you get on Vicky

1. Don't tell them how much you like rap music and invite the to share an E with you. 2. Don't wear a medallion, fake tan and, no, please, Hox, not the ginger hairpiece you bought off that stall down at Camden Lock. 3. Don't grab their mother's bottom while giving her some serious tongue action. Especially not during the starters. 4. Don't leer at them and tell them what big girls they are. 5. Don't pat them on the head while slipping a little extra pocket money into their hands.

Thanks folks, keep em coming. *wonders if Camden Mullets do part exchange*

hahahahahhahahaha ... hox you will be just fine ...you are a nice bloke and if you are yourself like vicky says how can they not like you????? ... leave the slippers at home tho ...

And the Grateful Dead tie-dye T-shirt.

and DONT SAY THE WORD "COOL" anyone who uses this word and is over the age of 16 looks a right tit ...

cool S'okay Fish I'm used to that

1. Clear away the bricks well in advance and wear clean underwear. 2. Avoid use of the phrase "when I was your age...." In their mind you were never their age...or if you were, it was well before the invention of the tomato. 3. Be careful about asking what music they like. Chances are you have never heard of it. It is a conversation stopper. On the other hand, if you ask their mother ahead of time and it turns out they listen to the same stuff you do, then maybe.... 4. Do not comment on their mother's sexual prowess. This could lead to an uncomfortable moment. 5. Do not comment on your own sexual prowess. Refer to previous item. 6. Generally avoid use of phrase "I remember when...." They could not possibly care less. Only comment on ancient history if they ask about "the old days." Sounds like a fun evening, doesn't it? :))))) I'm kidding. I'm sure it will be fine.

don't swear- it takes an very special type to carry this off expertly - otherwise it sounds common teenagers will pick up on ANY imperfection NO MATTER HOW SMALL so avoid dandruff, badly co-ordinated socks etc

in the light of the above i retract my advice about being yourself hox ... be someone else and quick! *trudges off to apologise AGAIN*

You'd better give me that mullet for tonight, Hox. I have no advise for you. I've only been on one date in my entire life and it was a complete disaster.

Read Alan Clarkes autobiography!

Be yourself. I use the word 'cool' as well Fish, so maybe that makes me a tit :) Try to find a common interest. i.e. something you are into that they like too, not the other way around.

not model trains hox!

Their mother?

So, to sum up: Be myself Be someone else Clean knickers Complete new wardrobe No tongues No Music No trains Got it. *logs on to lastminute.com to plan escape*

Be sure to let us know the result.

When talking to the daughters keep saying that you dig Puff Daddy and you intend to keep your life real. Hox, your so money you don't even know it. You will be fine. Tell her to get her coat because she has pulled a right winner. Enjoy it for what it is. ralph

Keep rubbing your thighs, licking your lips, staring at your partner and remarking how you can't *wait* until the meal's over. Start an argument. Take both sides. Wait til the girls start a conversation. Half way through interject with 'Oh yeah? That's not how *I* remember it!' then continue eating. Ask their opinions on capital punishment for sexual deviancy. Keep bringing the subject up. Or you could accept that kids at that age enjoy sticking the knife into *any* adult, and not take it personally if they do it to you, someone they'll most likely grow fond of given time and a little understanding.

1. Keep your tie out of the soup. 2. Only pick your nose in the loo. 3. Don't line up a date with the daughters (on the same night). 4. If a former male partner of any of the three arrives, stab him before an argument starts. I hope this is helpful. If all else fails, read Paul's letter to the Galatians.

Am I too late? Has he already been fed to the lions? If you chase a wild animal it runs away. the secret is to let it come to you. Turn your back on a horse and it won't take long until it gets nosy. I wouldn't be too keen to please these kids they'll see right through it. I recently met my 'new friends' kids. the kids are fine we got on okay ... his kids likes my kid all's rosy ... apart from the fact that I can't be doing with 'my new friend' Careful what you wish for :-)