Workplace safety

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Thu, 2005-08-18 00:47

Workplace safety

Where I work, we've had a rash of self inflicted injuries lately. Every time an accident occurs, I have to fill out about 10 pages of paperwork, do an investigation and make official pronouncements about how to move forward. I've formulated the following universal safety rules (not OSHA approved). Feel free to use them in your own workplace.

Universal Safety Rules

1. Don't burn yourself
2. Don't get squashed
3. Don't kill anybody
4. Don't fall off
5. Don't poke your eye out
6. Don't cut yourself
7. Don't get electrocuted
8. Don't drown
9. Don't get poisoned
10. Always keep your head and limbs attached to your body

Can anybody think of some more? I have to finish this up this week.

Thu, 2005-08-18 01:10

xyz

Don't keep rabid dingoes in desk drawer.

Thu, 2005-08-18 02:29

Tyler King

don't shoot your eye out with a red ryder bb gun

Tyler King

Thu, 2005-08-18 08:49

maddan

don't stand under anything that is about to collapse, e.g. the ceiling

Thu, 2005-08-18 13:35

Tyler King

don't sleep in your office.

Tyler King

Thu, 2005-08-18 14:01

ely_whitley

don't do anything dangerous or stupid, if you do then you might hurt yourself and/or others. If you do, and then try to sue us, we'll send 'Iron Balls Mcginty, round to scare you off by threatening your family or something- underhand, we know, but if you're willing to blame US for your own mistakes we feel it's only right.

Thu, 2005-08-18 14:34

radiodenver

Maddan, your suggestion would apply to rule 2. Ely, your suggestion would make a good header or synopsis. Liana...would that large stapler contain staples for puncture wounds or would you use it as a simple and convenient blunt object? It's not a bug...it's a feature.

It's not a bug...it's a feature.

Thu, 2005-08-18 16:47

styx

This is becoming an old one which sadly reflects the times that we live in: If you see a bomb disposal officer running - keep up with him.

Fri, 2005-08-19 07:56

neilmc

don't live near terrorists don't look Asian don't use trains don't use tubes don't use buses don't wear thick coats don't carry bags don't grow a beard avoid police officers don't work in London

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