ralph

On a train from L.A to Santa Barbara: 15th August 9.24am Sometimes a great ocean can make the world of difference. I have to get away for a couple of days on my own. I need to see waves and smell salt. The desire to have a solo adventure has been rising in me since Sunday. So I'm on a train as I write this heading for Santa Barbara. I love the romance of trains and this one is just right. It's a Double-Decker, full of old aged pensioners who appear to be on a kind of beano. They are laughing, chattering and sucking on boiled sweets. Outside there is a mist that phases the mountains that surround the city of Los Angeles. Occasionally, the train exerts its whistle and it makes my heart soar. Maybe everything will turn sepia in a minute and Marilyn Monroe may walk through the carriage, brandishing a guitar like the scene from 'Some Like It Hot'. Knowing my luck it will be Tony Curtis trying to sell me some of his terrible art.

L.A 13th August 8.56am In the baking sun I had to go for a little walk. My heart was soaring, and I was smiling and crying all at once. I have conjured redemption. I got an email from Elizabeth. I spoke to her on the phone on Friday, you might recall. It was nervy and strange, but I was glad that I did it. I hurt this woman many years ago. Ran out on her the day before she was going to catch a plane from Hollywood to London and marry me. She sold all her belongings to get to me and I slammed the door on her through fear and self interest. I have carried that guilt around in my back pocket for what has seemed like forever.