I have 11 stories published in
0 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 7547 times
and 19 of my stories have been cherry picked. 324 of my 3,340 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 329 votes
324 of my comments have received 329 Great Feedback votes
1 Vote
Is line 7 'into a lifetime of
Posted on Sun, 05 Jun 2016
Is line 7 'into a lifetime of'? This is fat with decay and an undercurrent of something incestuous in surprising contrast with the bell bellied subject. Familiar with the painting which I think makes your piece far more resonant for me. It's a...
Lots of good stuff here, his self indulgent loss is comical. In places, the language changes from accessible to more wordy and vague, the shifts disrupt the read. Perhap stick with one style or the other.
This is stunning. The geographical location pinned down so well, the links with literature, it's like being taken on a visual, rich journey. That's why it's our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day and also our Story of the Week.
Julie had typed? Rather than said, and leave it there? The last para definitely dilutes it. I like it Terrence, it feels confessional and refreshingly light, the eclectic mix of strange things works well.
'the same routine I have for a year now' - omit 'been'
I haven't read Ch 1 yet but why is Noah in prison? He feels a little too tender and caring, need to know why he is inside and how does he cope if such a softie?
Is line 7 'into a lifetime of
Posted on Sun, 05 Jun 2016
Is line 7 'into a lifetime of'? This is fat with decay and an undercurrent of something incestuous in surprising contrast with the bell bellied subject. Familiar with the painting which I think makes your piece far more resonant for me. It's a...
Read full commentPosted in Hope I (Gustav Klimt 1903)
Defence mechanisms, props and
Posted on Mon, 30 May 2016
Defence mechanisms, props and emotional guards. A weighty moment captured so precisely. This is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day.
Get a great reading recommendation every day.
Read full commentPosted in Cannibal
It is such a powerful poem.
Posted on Mon, 30 May 2016
It is such a powerful poem. Pacey, gut-wrenching in its casualness and an overwhelming sense of unity and recognition
Read full commentPosted in Cannibal
A prophetic tale. Here and
Posted on Mon, 30 May 2016
A prophetic tale. Here and there, one or two words are missing.Needs a quick check through.
Read full commentPosted in Regressed
Lots of good stuff here, his
Posted on Sun, 08 May 2016
Lots of good stuff here, his self indulgent loss is comical. In places, the language changes from accessible to more wordy and vague, the shifts disrupt the read. Perhap stick with one style or the other.
Read full commentPosted in Tara
This is stunning. The
Posted on Wed, 27 Apr 2016
This is stunning. The geographical location pinned down so well, the links with literature, it's like being taken on a visual, rich journey. That's why it's our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day and also our Story of the Week.
Read full commentPosted in Wild Venice
Julie had typed? Rather than
Posted on Sat, 23 Apr 2016
Julie had typed? Rather than said, and leave it there? The last para definitely dilutes it. I like it Terrence, it feels confessional and refreshingly light, the eclectic mix of strange things works well.
Read full commentPosted in Hugo and the unexpected text message
The format makes this quite
Posted on Wed, 20 Apr 2016
The format makes this quite hard to read. Had to squint. It's a haunting piece, can feel the darkness.
Read full commentPosted in WW1 ghosts
'the same routine I have for
Posted on Wed, 13 Apr 2016
'the same routine I have for a year now' - omit 'been'
I haven't read Ch 1 yet but why is Noah in prison? He feels a little too tender and caring, need to know why he is inside and how does he cope if such a softie?
You could...
Read full commentPosted in The Come Up:Alex Brown, Chapter 2
A Parisian departure.
Posted on Tue, 12 Apr 2016
A Parisian departure. Particularly like how you collide two worlds, two eras together and a relection which paints all the colours of a mother.
Read full commentPosted in 'Evening in Paris' (Poetry Monthly)
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