Whatever. Hush. Listen.
You told me you loved me.
Promised me that I wouldn't be alone.
Show no mercy. Don't look round.
Miss me now, because I am gone.
The future will find itself.
Everybody noticed that my body ground to ashes.
Ashamed of the outcome?
Love. Hand over your heart, I've lost mine.
She claps outside my room. You've won, it was a lie.
Breathing room.. the empty air trembles from those words.
Ambition: dreams hunted by reality. It was a lie, that
I'd never die. I'm drowning in words. Pearls.
Hung around my neck. Gravity with my added strength.
You fool, the words echo in space, calling to who? (I love you)
That can't be my final thought. I'm under waves, the ups
and downs of life. The only straight line is the sunset.
Smiling as the light travels up.
It was over.
Published by Beeme on December 25, 2009 - 17:39
Comments
Silver Spun Sand | December 25, 2009 - 21:06
The last two lines, Beeme, blew me away;-)
The clipped style of the poem with its deliberately short sentences, works very well indeed.
Much enjoyed.
Tina xx
Beeme | December 27, 2009 - 17:14
Thankyou Tina, I'm glad you enjoyed and that the short sentences were effective. Hope you've enjoyed your day. Merry Christmas and a happy new year xx
Beeme :-)
MistakenMagic | December 27, 2009 - 22:06
Love the short sentences in this one, Beeme! The voice of the narrator is brilliant too ;)
Magic xxx
Nathan Bednarek | December 28, 2009 - 00:47
'Ambition: dreams hunted by reality.'
I love this line and the pure honesty of the poem. I too love the tone or 'voice' of the narrator. Very effective indeed. A big well done.
Nathan xox
Beeme | December 28, 2009 - 12:58
Thankyou Nathan and Magic, I'm glad you enjoyed and liked the tone.
Beeme XX
threeleafshamrock | December 28, 2009 - 13:32
I agree with Nathan and the line he chose; it was my favorite one too.
Great piece, enjoyed a lot
Chris ;) XXXX
Beeme | December 28, 2009 - 15:02
Thankyou Chris, glad you enjoyed :-)
Beeme XX
Firebird | December 30, 2009 - 13:14
Love it, Beeme. Well done :)
Beeme | December 30, 2009 - 17:21
Thankyou so very much Firebird x