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Published by chelseyflood on November 16, 2009 - 22:51
from the ABC set Broken up prose

I remember walking through
that field near Hellesdon
where you realised
you liked the countryside.
I plucked the biggest carrot
either of us had ever seen,
skipped with it in my hand
swinging it from leaves
like a child with a doll.
You said: “I thought I didn’t like all this,”
And your eyes on mine
made me feel included
with the soil, the low sunshine,
the universe outside.

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Comments

lenchenelf | November 16, 2009 - 22:59

Really like this piece :-)atb Lena

Silver Spun Sand | November 17, 2009 - 12:03

Pure magic.

Tina

chelseyflood | November 18, 2009 - 19:33

Thanks Lena and Tina. Glad you enjoyed it.

Silver Spun Sand | November 18, 2009 - 20:07

A more than well-deserved cherry;-)

Cavalcaderl | November 26, 2009 - 13:47

new Chelseyflood
thoroughly enjoyed.
congrats; well earn't cherry too
julie x cavalcader (:-

span | December 10, 2009 - 11:28

This is lush. I feel like I have been on that walk.

The word 'plucked' in this poem makes me nervous

maybe dug up, or something better than dug up.

Also wondered about line breaks,

There is a shift in the poem,
so maybe it could open out in the last lines

And your eyes on mine made me feel included
with the soil, the low sunshine,the universe outside.