Fed Up? No? Read This and You Soon Will Be!
‘I’m fed up!’
I said.
‘No, more than that…
I’m fed up,
to the back teeth
fed up!’
I said.
‘Why’s that?’
You said
‘Why not?’
I Said.
‘Whatever for?’
You said.
‘Reasons,’
I said.
‘Are you sure?’
You said.
‘It’s how I feel,’
I said.
‘I’m surprised,’
You said.
‘No, wait,
It’s gone,’
I said.
‘Gone?’
You said.
‘Yes, gone,’
I said.
‘How rude
To leave
Like that!’
I said.
‘And why
By the window
When I live on the
Seventeenth floor
Of a Tower block?’
I said.
But there was no one there to hear me…
Comments
Silver Spun Sand | May 28, 2012 - 10:53
I was far from 'fed up' when I read this, Moya. More 'tickled pink', I'd say;-)
Tina
ramoshf | May 28, 2012 - 13:23
lol... not sure I understand what's going on here, but it was funny.
Stan | May 28, 2012 - 14:51
I'm not coming to yours for an ABC tea if that's how you treat your guests!
Rhiannonw | May 28, 2012 - 18:44
Sometimes it's good to argue with ourselves?! Especially if one of our voices has a sense ofhumour!
Rhiannon
Denzella | May 28, 2012 - 21:16
Thanks, Tina, for the read and commenting on my piece of nonsense.
I'm glad you were tickled pink!
Hope you and your husband are coping?
Moya
Denzella | May 28, 2012 - 21:29
Stan, you're all right, mate, I've moved to a bungalow and I'm a dab hand with Sticky Toffee Pudding and Peach and Pistachio Meringue Roulade or, if you prefer savoury then just let me know. Just say what you like and I'll make it for you.
The food might be all right but the writing will be rubbish but I will enjoy listening to the work of others.
Seriously, Stan, if York comes off will you come up for it or is it too far?
Moya
Denzella | May 28, 2012 - 21:39
Hello Rhiannonw,
Thank you for reading and commenting on my silly piece.
Yes, Rhiannonw, but it's the other one you've got to watch! That voice is a nasty piece of work.
Still, I like having a go at poetry even though I am well aware I do not possess a poetic bone in my body. I am working on one at the moment which I kid myself is written in a similar way to how Tina writes. I would just like to get one poem good enough to get cherry picked. Then I would feel I had made some progress.
sue dinum | May 29, 2012 - 16:24
Very neat, Moya darling. Made me laugh out loud, especially with the clever ending.
Denzella | May 29, 2012 - 20:00
Hello ramoshf,
Thank you so much for reading my silly piece of nonsense and for commenting because even though it is a bit silly it's still nice to get feedback so thank you for that.
I always try to read the work of people who comment on mine so I will be taking a look at yours soon.
I will also let you into a little secret I don't understand what's going on with this piece either!
Moya
Denzella | May 29, 2012 - 20:03
Thanks for the read and the lovely comment. I set great store by what you say, Trev, and I am so glad it made you laugh
Moya x
Linda Wigzell Cress | May 29, 2012 - 21:29
Great stuff, made me titter. I'll work it out later!
Linda
luigi_pagano | January 16, 2013 - 20:14
Quite an original slant, Denzella. It could also be interpreted as sinister. If I may make a suggestion I would make a small addition to the sixth line of the following:
‘How rude
To leave
Like that!’
I said.
‘And why
By the window,
When I live on the
Seventeenth floor
Of a Tower block?’
It would make the event a bit clearer.
Luigi x
Denzella | January 16, 2013 - 21:56
Hello Luigi,
Thank you for reading and commenting on this little offering and you are quite right. I'm on to it the moment I have replied to your comment.
Thank you
Moya