Jakes Revenge ( Part 4 )

No likes yet ♦

from the ABC set Jake

Jake wasn’t disappointed with his Mums breakfast. Two eggs, bacon, sausages and fresh tomatoes, without doubt it was the best thing he’d eaten in almost ten years. He showered, dressed and was out of the house at 11.00am.

He had to find Geoff the mechanic, Pete had told him that if he wanted to know anything about South London villains then Geoff was the man to see. But he was no mug and certainly no grass, so Jake had worked out a story about why he wanted to track down Squashed Nose.

He got on the Jubilee line at West Ham and in a few minutes would be in Bermondsey. For East Londoners there was a kind of “aura” about Bermondsey. Maybe it was the West Ham – Millwall thing but it was certainly a place where East Londoners felt uncomfortable. Jake had never been there before even though it was only a few miles away from his house, it was said that all East Londoners would get a nose bleed as soon as they entered into South London, Jake knew this was bollocks but checked his nose just in case as the train doors opened onto Bermondsey Station!

Pete had given Jake the address and Jake knew it was only a ten minute walk from the station, he'd checked it on his Dad’s A-Z the night before. He turned left and then left again; he was now in a narrow, very quiet, one way street. This would lead him into Southwark Park Road and the garage was just a few hundred yards further along.

He was aware of footsteps behind him, a little too close for Jakes liking. He heard a voice behind him.

“Oi mate, borrow your phone?”

Jake turned round. In front of him were three lads, late teens, two black and one white. The one that spoke was the biggest; he was also standing a few inches closer than the other two, obviously the leader. The white guy was to his left and was smiling at him; the other black guy was the furthest away and looked nervous. Jake made a quick assumption, the white guy was second in command here and the other black guy wasn’t experienced at this kind of thing and was therefore not quite sure what to do.

The big black guy spoke again.

“Come on mate, give us your phone and we’ll be on our way, no one gets hurt”

All those years of practicing with Terry in the cell now came into play.

Jake took a stride forward and thrust out his right arm, he hit the big black guy hard with the palm of his hand into his sternum, the impact of this forced all the air in the guy’s lungs to leave his body, he tried to breathe in, a natural reaction, but no one can breathe in and out at the same time, he collapsed, as the hand hit, Jake's left elbow caught the white guy hard on the chin, he heard a crack. Jake took a step back. The two of them were on the floor one gasping for breath and the other unconscious, the younger black guy was nowhere to be seen.

“Welcome to Bermondsey!” Jake thought.

He walked down Southwark Park Road and saw the pub that Pete had mentioned. The Ancient Foresters.

Pete said that Geoff lived and died in the pub, his garage was only two minutes away and the best place to find Geoff at lunchtime was in the pub. Jake checked his watch, it was just before midday.

It was still a bit early for lunch, but there was a café opposite, Jake went in and bought a mug of tea and sat by the window. He took his time drinking his tea, he kept his eye on the pub opposite, about a dozen people went in between midday and twelve thirty, all of them wearing some kind of overalls, obviously all local workers. Jake left the café and walked across the road.

The pub was staunch Millwall, pictures of the team and players everywhere, Jake felt immediately out of place, a West Ham fan in a Millwall pub? Not a great combination! The barman walked over.

“What can I get you guv?”

“Stella please mate”

The barman pulled the pint and put it down in front of him, Jake gave him a fiver and waited for his change. When he returned, Jake asked the question.

“Is Geoff the mechanic in yet?”

“Yeh, he’s in the other bar mate, want me to give him a shout?”

“No it’s ok; I’ll walk round and see him”

Jake went through another door and was in a much bigger bar. There were about ten people in there mainly in groups of twos or threes, but in the corner tucking into a large sandwich was a big grey haired guy in greasy overalls. Jake walked over.

“Geoff?”

The guy looked up cautiously.

“Might be, who wants to know?”

Jake put down his pint and put his hands up in front of him as though he was surrendering.

“It’s ok, Geoff, I’m a friend of Pete, Pete Drummond!”

Geoff laughed.

“Fuck me, haven’t heard that name for a long time, how is the old bastard, still inside?”

“Yeh, I spent some time with him recently”

Geoff’s face now took on a friendlier look.

“Sit down son, what you after, some work?”

Jake sat down and took a swig of his pint.

“No, I’m fine Geoff, I’m actually looking for someone, someone Pete thought you might know, he helped me once when I was away, I thought I’d look him up and say thanks”

“What did he do then?”

“There was this screw who fucking hated me for some reason, one day I was in the laundry room and he decided to give his baton a work out, on me! This guy came over and thumped the screw, saved me from a good hiding”

“What was his name then, this good Samaritan?”

“Well that’s the thing Geoff, I don’t know, I was moved to another nick the next day so never got to thank him”

“So how the fuck can I help?”

Jake took out the picture of Squashed Nose from his pocket and gave it to Geoff.

“I’m pretty good at drawing and drew this, it’s a good likeness, do you know him?”

Geoff looked hard at the picture and then gave it back to Jake, his expression changed.

“Look son, it’s a good story but you and me both know it’s a load of bollocks, that picture is of a man who as far as I know has never been away, he’s also not the kind of man that would do the Good Samaritan bit, if you get my drift!”

“So you do know him then?”

“Look you say you’re a mate of Pete’s, prove it, tell me something about him that convinces me you really have spent time with him, or you can fuck off!”

Jake thought for a few seconds.

“He farts in his sleep!”

Geoff nearly choked on his sandwich. But his face returned to the friendly one again.

“You’re fucking right, he does. I spent some time with him once in Maidstone; he is such a smelly cunt!”

They both laughed. Geoff got up and bought another two pints. He returned and sat back in his chair.

“Look son, I don’t want to know the real reason why you want this man, but if I was you I’d leave it. He’s not nice; he’ll eat you for breakfast"

“Does he live round here?”

“Used to, years ago, brought up in Raymouth Road just round the corner, but moved out about twenty five years ago, rumour is he’s now in Spain somewhere, the rugby club might know”

“What one?”

“Barking, he played for them for a good few years, good player he was, even played for the veterans for a while when he was older”

“So Geoff, what’s his name?”

“Lenny Taylor, his name is Lenny Taylor and he’s a real nasty bastard!”

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

skinner_jennifer | July 23, 2012 - 11:17

So is Jake going to go all the way to Spain...I
wonder?

Thought he tackled those boys well, I would have
been scared to death, I'd have given them the
mobile and scarpered pretty quick, well as fast as
my legs would carry me anyway.

Although I'm a right scaredy cat and probably wouldn't have been able to move, knowing me. It is
a situation that I often think about, when I'm out
walking alone.

Anyway I'm verging away from your story...sorry.

Another episode that's got me hooked and wanting
more. In your own time ofcourse.

Jenny.

jolono | July 23, 2012 - 12:00

Thanks Jenny, I don't think any of us know what we'd do in those situations do we?

Thanks for following poor old Jake all this time, Spain? Maybe.....

Sooz006 | July 23, 2012 - 16:34

He now had to find Geoff the mechanic... I'd lose the now here, it weakens the sentence.

Jake knew this was bollocks but checked his nose just in case ... cute!

ten minute walk from the station, he'd checked it on his Dad’s A-Z the night before. He turned left out of the station and then left again; he was now in a narrow, very quiet, one way street... you can lose the 'out of the station,' we know where he is. And you can also afford to lose the now again. Now is one of those words that people but in, but they very rarely need to be there.

He was aware of three lads behind him, ... you use three lads again in the next sentence, could you say youths or something here?

a natural reaction,... I think you can lose this ,too

, Jakes left elbow caught... Jake's

and went over to the pub....you mention the pub at the beginning of the next sentence, to avoid word reps can you say, went over the road, here?

pulled Jakes pint... Jake's

When he returned, Jake... three Jakes in this sentence, you can get away with He, here.

but moved out about twenty five years ago now, rumour is he’s now... the first one is great, the second one has to go.

Okey dokey, Did you write this on a roll? The writing isn't nearly as polished as usual, but it's only two-second changes and all the now's are purely down to personal preference.

You seemed uncertain with this chapter, until you sat down with Geoff, and then it was you again, usual standard, usual style. However possessive Jake's without an apostrophe need sorting, you're way past that level, which is what makes me think that you wrote it on a roll.

If you had a tweak at the first half of this chappie and did a bit of a nut and bolt edit, I'm sure an ed will trot along at some point and cherry it.

For me, not quite up to your usual standard. The conversation with Geoff was fantastic, and was absolutely up there.

jolono | July 23, 2012 - 17:10

Sooz, my spell check must be fucked, because i'm not great at punctuation I use spell check every time I post. Maybe i need to go back to school!

All sorted apart for "a natural reation" I think it needs to be there.

Thanks very much for the read.

Sooz006 | July 23, 2012 - 18:14

“Oi mate, borrow your phone?” ... favourite line ... this just seems so real, I love the way you've written it.

and if it was me, I have a huge sense of right and wrong and I'm pretty sure that if it was *my* phone, they'd have to physically take it from me. But like you say, until you're in that situ, who knows, knives or guns would probably make a difference.

Edenfalls | July 25, 2012 - 10:30

With this all the way now Jolono so don't let me down mate, this had a bit of everything. We realise now that Jake really can handle himself. He's grown up and become more "savvy", thats clear from the conversation in the pub. But still loves his old mum and dad!

jolono | July 25, 2012 - 19:04

Thanks Eden, I'm trying!

hudsonmoon | July 27, 2012 - 15:43

Jolono, this tale is coming along nicely. Love the atmosphere and dialogue. Feels right. On to the next.

Rich

jolono | July 27, 2012 - 16:01

Thanks very much Rich, glad you're enjoying it mate.

Denzella | July 31, 2012 - 05:58

Yes, I think Edenfalls is right we needed to see that Jake had toughened up and you provided us with the evidence by the way he dealt with the three muggers.

Great read

Moya

jolono | July 31, 2012 - 08:19

Thanks Moya.