There are three layers to your face:
the top is a masculine sheet of skin
it’s thin but deep creases
around the mouth and nose could get
you a part as an action hero.
Sometimes it flashes cherry-red
like the time I let you see me
naked. Streetlights revealed strips of
my flesh and a corner shop sign
glowed between my legs.
The second layer is one you
don’t want people to know
about. It’s still damp from the time your
kids said goodbye and your wife looked
on with a crooked smile. It bobs
beneath the surface like a jellyfish, pulsing
softly, stinging you with patches
of purple; a bruised melange
of fights and fall downs. It sheds
when you give yourself away after alcohol
or drugs or when there’s nothing left to
say apart from this,
this is my fucking life.
Finally there’s a layer
I don’t think you know about
because it’s too deep for you
to feel and if you did
it would coil around you
like a silvery noose.
Unless one day,
you manage to admit
that you’re lonely and you
want somebody to love you back
and it could be me or maybe
it couldn’t but if anything
I think you should know, I often
dream about you Jerome and in
that dream I pull my hair
over your head and I keep us safe
in my dark blonde tent,
I keep us safe.
Comments
hudsonmoon | December 12, 2011 - 13:07
I truly felt you were talking to me when I read this part. Well done and affective. Wonderful piece, Maggy.
Finally there’s a layer
I don’t think you know about
because it’s too deep for you
to feel and if you did
it would coil around you
like a silvery noose.
(It's 7AM here and I'm playing hooky from work and having fun catching up on my reading.)
Rich
maggyvaneijk | December 12, 2011 - 13:10
Thanks for your comment Rich. ABC Tales is great for sleeplessness and hookying from work :)
MistakenMagic | December 12, 2011 - 16:45
Loved this stanza:
"Sometimes it flashes cherry-red
like the time I let you see me
naked. Streetlights revealed strips of
my flesh and a corner shop sign
glowed between my legs"
And the third stanza has some really beautiful images. This is a really poignant and raw piece, Maggy. Just stunning - as always!
Magic xxx
maggyvaneijk | December 12, 2011 - 16:46
Thank you!
hilary west | December 12, 2011 - 17:05
I agree with Mistaken, that is a great stanza ending 'the corner shop sign glowed between my legs'. Quite stunning imagery!
maggyvaneijk | December 12, 2011 - 17:09
Thanks Hilary
RachelPatricia | December 12, 2011 - 17:13
So, so beautiful, Maggy. That final stanza choked me - you paint your pictures so vividly they sting. Blown away, as always :)
Rachel xx
seashore | December 12, 2011 - 17:31
I love all of it - every syllable.
maggyvaneijk | December 12, 2011 - 17:32
Thanks ladies for your comments. I really appreciate them.
Highhat | December 12, 2011 - 19:27
Streetlights revealed strips of
my flesh and a corner shop sign
glowed between my legs"
this is my favourite bit.
But this is so packed with poignant images and shows such depth into human nature- you are a very intelligent person Maggy and I admire your talent.
This is so honest- yet it could be quite imaginary as well- I don't know which- nevertheless- I think it may be one of your best till date..
;)Pia
Trainspotter | December 12, 2011 - 21:46
I also agree with all the ladies above. Great images.
maggyvaneijk | December 12, 2011 - 21:50
Pia, your comment has made my day. I'm really not that intelligent but thanks :) It's definitely a mix of fact and fiction like all my work so you got that right.
Thanks Trainspotter!
fatboy74 | December 12, 2011 - 22:43
It bobs
beneath the surface like a jellyfish, pulsing
softly, stinging you with patches
of purple; a bruised melange
of fights and fall downs.
My favourite section of one of my favourite poems of yours. No surprise the parts of the poems we all like are mostly different, because that says an awful lot about how good it is overall. :-)
maggyvaneijk | December 12, 2011 - 23:07
Thank you! :)
scratch | December 12, 2011 - 23:32
Maggyvaneijk, There is nothing wrong with this at all. You have the creative ability to consistently take a situation or experience that is common and distill it to it's essence and in doing so hold a mirror up to it for us all to look.
maggyvaneijk | December 12, 2011 - 23:36
Thanks for your comment Scratch, I'm thrilled that you think my writing has that effect. Thanks again!
scratch | December 12, 2011 - 23:44
Nice one Maggy! If you have the time or inclination a read and review of my latest submission would be very, very welcome.
maggyvaneijk | December 12, 2011 - 23:56
will do!
scratch | December 13, 2011 - 00:04
Bloody Hell Blighters, That's one superb observation on one superb poem
maggyvaneijk | December 13, 2011 - 00:07
I'm glad I was able to make you smile and produce another inspiring comment.
raylee925 | December 13, 2011 - 12:54
Admiration for your construction and verve!
Beeme | December 15, 2011 - 17:11
I love it Maggy, every line.
Beeme x
Nathan Bednarek | August 17, 2012 - 11:49
It is truly a privilege to read your poetry Maggy, I feel the uttermost respect for your writing and skill with imagery.
This poem reminds me of a particular person. A strong, masculine man, yet beaten up inside.
A unique piece. Well done.
Nathan ;)