My search for meaning

I chipped blocks off a rainbow
Just to see if it was real
I danced naked in a fountain
Just to see if I could feel

Hungry for meaning
Soul skinny to the core
I have searched a billion portholes
Just to find a billion more

Glimpsed it in a beggar
Dying on the street
Hunched, desperate and weary
With flip flops on her feet

I wanted to ask her
Share with me your meaning
But didn't and dialled 999
As on death's door she was leaning

I caught it from the tree tops
A sling shot through the rain
It carried me on the wing of hope
But then eluded me again

I joined a secret sect and
Made funny noises with my tongue
I saw some colours and a coathanger bend
But after that I felt I was done

I read Proust Ibsen and Voltaire
Kafka Rorty and a biography of Tony Blair
Through a fine comb of meaning I did look
But meaning eluded me in every book

French cinema German cheese
A holiday in Botswana and one in the Maldives
Then I signed on and sold my flat in Frome
Giving some of the proceeds to a cat home

All these things gave me something new to see
Yet nothing had quite quelled my appetite for novelty
So I finally decided that to find my truth
I needed to turn my efforts towards my youth

There I found a panopy of discomfort
Chaos and beatings by my father and his strumpet
So if it is the answer you must find
Pray turn the search into your mind

You too will find the playground of your unconscious
Take a therapist and go explore with packed lunches
Then you will see and surely agree
The key to your life was always psychotherapy