You Stuffed

You stuffed my mouth full of food
Then made me think that opening it would love you
You stuffed my ears full of fear
And made me think the world was like that

You stuffed my brain full of poison
I washed it and hung it out to dry
You stuffed my nose full of guilt
I felt ashamed to be me, not belonging

You left my other holes alone
So I shit and pissed on you
But I later found
I was only shitting and pissing on myself

You put me down
At every turn
Demolished my dreams
Shattered my plans

You never saw me as me
I was like part of your arm
Forever linked
And free to use as you wished

You called me your enemy
No longer son
The one not to trust
That hurt me so much

You doubted my talents
Supported my enemies
Gave me girl's clothes
And bought me a potty at thirty

You called me gay
When I wasn't
You called my girlfriends whores
And demanded I serve you and dad

There was no room to confide in you
Tell you my fears
Because there was only this
An impeneterable barrage of words

I realised slowly that you were afraid
The lonely little girl
left in a foreign country
without the blessings of your family

The pain which you suffered as a child
The abandonment
The confusion
Is meeted out to me

As a child too young to cope
I am sucked in to worse terrors than you
I come out as an adult
Seek help and begin to find freedom

You helped break me down
But you gave love as best you could
I am no angel
Let us heal our wounds and move forward

You may be unwilling
But I shall be the beacon
Strong enough now to guide you
Let the roles reverse

But you will always be my mum
You did what could be done
I can expect no less
Nor ask for more