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Remainders

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Published by MistakenMagic on October 26, 2009 - 16:37
from the ABC set The Poet Who Fell in Love

For EA

To other men
I was an enigma;
a code
they could never
quite crack.

But you –
you were different.
You saw me
as something mathematical,
logical … a game.

My facial expressions
were the equations –
it seemed you could
always figure me out.

The disrupted symmetry
of a raised eyebrow
never escaped you –
within seconds
you had the solution.

You proclaimed
you specialised
in my smiles –
your area of expertise.

You treated the lines
of my lips as a graph,
always found their co-ordinates –
their cause.

Yet there was always
one look in my eyes
that you couldn't calculate;
the gaze that, like long division,
didn't have an exact answer –
so you never attempted to find
the remainders …

Those three remainders
that were always
and for ever the answer to everything:

I love you.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

Silver Spun Sand | October 26, 2009 - 20:03

This is such a beautiful poem, Magic.

I love the metaphor of the graphs and equations. Extremely effective and they suit the mood of the piece so well.

This stanza brought a smile to my lips.

'The disrupted symmetry
of a raised eyebrow
never escaped you –
within seconds
you had the solution.'

My husband always says that one can tell exactly what a woman is thinking by observing her eyebrows and it would seem, he was right;-)

Hope Michael likes this too. I am sure he will.

Cavalcaderl | October 26, 2009 - 20:19

MistakenMagic
Beautifully explained
I'm sure Michael knows
especially the last 3 words.
well done
julie x cavalcader (:-

Beeme | October 26, 2009 - 20:23

I really enjoyed this Magic, one of your best, for me. I loved the stanza that Tina has highlighted, I'm sure this will impress Michael and put a smile onto his face as it has mine.

Beeme XX

MistakenMagic | October 26, 2009 - 20:45

I'm glad you like this one Tina ;)I'm sure Mr Clatsworthy hit the nail on the head with his 'eyebrows thesis' :P

Magic xxx

MistakenMagic | October 26, 2009 - 20:46

Thank you Julie! Took me about 4 months to write this one so I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Magic xxx

MistakenMagic | October 26, 2009 - 20:48

Glad I've made you smile, Beeme! And also over the moon that you consider this one of my best as I'm still climbing out of a poetic drought!

Magic xxx

SundaysChild | October 28, 2009 - 00:07

Like this one alot, Magic- very clever and beautifully crafted.

Sunday x

MistakenMagic | October 28, 2009 - 00:25

Thank you so much Sunday ;) And it's great to see you back on ABC!

Magic xxx

luigi_pagano | October 28, 2009 - 13:08

You in a poetic drought? Never dear Rebecca! You are always full of original ideas which are the bases for your well-crafted poems. This is no exception:
a delectable declaration of love woven with clever metaphors. Very well done.

Luigi xxx

MistakenMagic | October 28, 2009 - 13:41

Hehe thank you Luigi ;) Glad you enjoyed this one!

Magic xxx

Curse of 222 | October 28, 2009 - 21:32

have you noticed that even the comments left on your works are getting more poetic? just an observation. perhaps, you're not in the midst of a drought so much as crafting more thorough, well-defined and exquisite poetry than before. so maybe it takes longer. maybe it takes more effort. but the end result is pure you turned up to 11.
just to be clear, and in an effort to write an unnecessarily long comment, i believe this to be one of your best. it's simple and complex. it's happy and sad. it's damn good and damn good and damn, you are good...
has this gone on long enough, yet?

jason (rogue half-rhyme) xxx

MistakenMagic | October 28, 2009 - 21:40

Hey there Jason! Nice to see the rogue half-rhyme round here again :) I'd like to think I'm writing less but writing better, so thank you for your comment! Always love long comments too!

Magic xxx

Nathan Bednarek | October 29, 2009 - 17:24

Sorry for the late comment, Magic, been busy ;-/

'The disrupted symmetry
of a raised eyebrow'

I love the way you phrased this! The whole poem is mathematically perfect and I agree with Jason- with each poem you post, the reader has to put a little more effort to give a suitable comment. I also think this poem is in the 'one of your best' category ;-)

The way you ended the poem leaves a certain mark on the reader. Love it! Well done!

Nathan xox

MistakenMagic | October 29, 2009 - 17:53

Hello Nathan! Thank you for taking the time to comment - sorry to hear you're so busy!

You've picked my favourite line ;) It was really fun doing this, took me back to year 11 maths (which I actually despised!)

Magic xxx

Cavalcaderl | October 30, 2009 - 09:48

New mistakenMagic
Hi! just got copy
ABCtales.mag issue 16th Oct'
Read your great story EVA
I was spellbound beginning to end
and thinking is it true.
Love Cover of Issue 16 Cherries on
Thanks T.Cook
and all his hard work
states. and the Authors stories.great
John Osborne Mark Brown,John Wilks
and all mentioned in it. "I love Wagon Wheels"
to eat my favourite years.? Plus the Edging of Cherries reminds me of Borders edging wallpaper
round ceiling edge.My belated pop was painter and decorator. make superb decor now.
I know our writing group and me get paid if our work and homeless we were in.Improving both got virus.Thought missed it.Hope all well learning.Must have free time out to.x We went York Viking Museum and stayed young and old Aunt now d.and Ilkley Moor
poured non stop!by coach then teenager and brothers.
Ray gave me.
julie xx cavalcader(;-

MistakenMagic | October 30, 2009 - 10:41

Hey Julie! Glad you liked 'Eva' and I was really thrilled that it was in the ABC mags - that poem will always be a little bit special for me ;)

Magic xxx

Firebird | November 1, 2009 - 14:28

A beautiful poem. Thank you.
x

MistakenMagic | November 1, 2009 - 14:38

Thank you Firebird for the review! I'm really glad you liked ;)

Magic xxx

sarah wilson | November 1, 2009 - 14:52

This is a beautiful poem. Anything mathematical is an enigma to me! xx

MistakenMagic | November 1, 2009 - 18:26

Cheers Sarah! Agree with the maths - found my old maths exercise books yesterday and they're covered in doodles and scribbled poems!

Magic xxx

Cavalcaderl | November 9, 2009 - 00:25

New MistakenMagic
Yes I guessed it's special.
I'd always say on phone to families
"Love You" and to Ray but if annoyed me so
much he will "still say I love you"
I'll return with if you did you
wouldn't say or treat me that way"
his saying is "Try to get on? I feel
like throwing dishcloth at him.
julie x cavalcader (:-
Have you bought ABC mug yet I have
now two really good, going stick tiny
99p stickers on. Think Silver-spun-sand
getting one as told her my 2 arrived
hope your well. wev'e improved.
watching x Factor..

vidit.chopra | December 18, 2009 - 12:52

Brilliant...
I could connect with this one completely.
Nice.
"Yet there was always
one look in my eyes
that you couldn't calculate;
the gaze that, like long division,
didn't have an exact answer –
so you never attempted to find
the remainders …"
These lines are beautiful.
Vidit

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