Smoking in the Bath (A Pantoum)

i love form. thanks for sharing yours!

Hi maisie - this is my first attempt at form for a very long time. Thanks for reading! :-)

Magic xx

Mistaken, I was totally gripped from the first word to the last. Excellent.

Aww thanks, Scratch! Form really isn't my thing so I'm glad you like this :-)

Magic xxx

Ok. Now I am going to expose my complete ignorance (something that I have done relentlessly all my life). What is form? Poems still good whatever it might be by the way.

I suppose generally all poems have 'form' - which means the stanza structure, the rhyme scheme and the rhythm, but there are set forms like pantoums, sonnets, haiku, sestinas, villanelles, tanka etc I rarely write in set forms and set rhyme patterns and usually stick to free verse :-)

Magic xxx

P.S. Don't worry about ignorance Scratch, I would be too only I'm doing a degree in these things and it kinda helps to know ;-)

I love the repeating lines of the pantoum. It gives a wonderful form to the piece. This is a great example!

Thanks Hilary! We discussed a pantoum at Poetry Society this week and someone commented: "It sounds like the writer going slowly insane." I really like the repetition too!

Magic xxx

Ah, ok I see. Thanks for the explanation. If creative, wonderful writing is a marker you'll get a 1st. If not, the Vice Cancellor will be getting a very strong poem from me!

Alas I'm doing a degree in English literature and I have to analyse other people's work not write my own - but thanks for the offer Scratch ;-)

Magic xxx

I feel like that tap dripping in the dark, finding writing so difficult and tiresome that every time I sit at the laptop I feel like sleeping or just plain can't stand what I write, but when I switch it off and do something else I feel OK again.
There's literally nothing in the thinktank as far as I can see and I'm sure I've felt more inspiration stoned off my face on a bad hangover, not that I'm going to give in to the monkey on my shoulder.
This poem really made me chuckle because it's so mindless, just like me sat gormlessly at the laptop slowly submerging myself to the depths of my own inadequacy.
A brave post that worked for this numbnut.

Hi Richard - please don't despair, it'll come back to you, it always does in the end. My problem is I can only write decent stuff when I'm miserable or pissed off - the poetry don't come during fair weather! Just don't force it and then the words will come - probably at the most random or inconvenient time too. Glad you liked this attempt anyway, nothing like a cig in the bath for mindless self-indulgence ;-)

Magic xxx

You must stop smoking forthwith MistakenMagic. Or you might set your bath on fire. And that simply will not do.

But on a slightly more serious note, you may be doing a lit' degree BUT you are also engaging with all this stuff. And I have read most if not all of your stuff now and your engagement is neither frivolous or shallow. You have a spark and sometimes a flame. I look forward to the conflagration.

Aww thanks for taking the time to read my work, scratch! And yes, maybe some sort of fire extinguisher is in order... ;-)

Magic xxx

Some fabulous imagery, even if I do disapprove of you smoking - although, of all places, the bath seems the most safe and sensible! Unless you are using bath oils, in which case it which might not be so wise...

I had to look up what a pantoum was. Sheer madness - having read a description of the form, I thought that it must be very difficult to write to either make sense or be pleasing to read, and you have managed both - very well done!

p.s. swap the cigarette for a glass of wine!

J x

Wonderfully bizarre and fun. I loved it.

Rich

Hi Jennifer! My friend Jamie brought his pantoum to a poetry session and I was so envious, wishing I'd written it, so this was my response - glad you like it :-) I know someone who drinks Martinis in the bath - maybe I'll try that!

Magic xxx

Thanks for reading, Rich! :-)

Magic xx

Hi Magic,

I too have never heard of this word, Pantoum, it
wasn't even in my dictionary, so I was glad I came
to it late, so that there was an explanation.

This is certainly a different form for you, but you
always manage to pull off the impossible, with such
ease.

I think it's good to try new things, learning is
great fun and we never stop, throughout our lives.

I hope you had as much fun writing it, as I did
reading.

Hope you're having a good weekend.

Jenny.xxx

Hi Jenny - this definitely was something new for me to try and I did enjoy writing it, so much so, I feel another one coming on ;-) I'm having a busy but productive weekend, hope you're having a good one too! Thanks for reading,

Magic xxx

I completely and utterly missed this one, Magic. In fact I've been hunting for it, just now, for ages because I saw it in the cherry-picked list.

Well done...to say the least. Certainly something very different from you.

A change is always as good as a rest, or so they say;-)

Tina xxx

Funny how discipline can bring out a very different creativity, almost as if the restraints set you free, if that makes sense. Anyway, I enjoyed it a lot and if I had the willpower I'd be tempted to give it a go, it looks like fun!

Hello Tina! I was wondering when you'd stop by ;-) Glad you like the change!

Magic xxx

It certainly is, Shirley - and a lot easier than it looks as you only actually write half the lines with each line repeated once throughout! Thanks for reading :-)

Magic xxx

I've attempted a few Pantoums in the past but the format can be quite tricky. Your effort, however, is just about perfect. Great job!

Hi Mark, lovely to hear from you! I'm glad you liked my attempt ;-)

Magic xxx

I'm looking for cracks in the ceiling Magic-loved the form here- very good indeed with the repetition- brilliant to tell the truth- no ciggies for me- don't even have a bath tub- he he but you go have a soak and make some more brilliant poetry.. whatever you call it I will read it willingly.

;)Pia

Thanks, Pia! I've got another pantoum brewing, but my essay deadline is looming too - I'll see what I can do ;-)

Magic xxx

Such a stunning, cleverly constructed piece. A treat to read. Good luck with your essay!

Hi Maggy! Thanks for reading - I had a lot of fun doing it :-) I'm on the homeward stretch with my Toni Morrison essay, but, alas, I have another 3000 word Jewish American Fiction essay to write for next Friday! *long sigh* At least I get to go home for the weekend afterwards ;-)

Magic xxx

The repetition in this poem works very effectively. Everything slows down in a hot bath ;)

A joy to read ;)

Nathan.