She wrote a little story,
her parents were impressed;
her little sister came along,
unwittingly she messed
the paper – knocked the bottle over
– the one that held the ink:
she felt frustration flowing round,
reproving frowns – to think
of being careful, understand
what comes from careless play
– that script, like castles in the sand,
ink’s tide had swept away.
Her sister sat, to try again
to write the story down.
Her parents knew it wasn’t then
as good as when first done;
so when she took that story in
to school, they wrote to tell –
suprised, her teacher saw her bring
a blotted sheet aswell,
for better words, through blotch and blot
could slightly be discerned.
Her sibling found, on mind engraved
the lesson she had learned!
it’s fate was not to be erased
like forts that stand on sand!
Comments
Denzella | July 4, 2012 - 16:22
Hello Rhiannonw,
You have done a great job with this I P. I particularly liked the seemingly effortless way you have included the 'like castles in the sand' phrase. As well as 'ink's tide had swept away.' which is a great image.
Much enjoyed
Moya
Rhiannonw | July 4, 2012 - 16:30
Thank you, Moya. The tale suddenly came back to remembrance as possibly fitting the phrase. Just noticed I'd left an extra 'the' before 'blotch' at the end of the second stanza, so glad to take that out, it makes rather a stumble and shouldn't have been there! So easy to miss a typo when you know what you expect to see! Rhiannon
Sooz006 | July 4, 2012 - 18:35
Hi Rhiannon, I like the story of this one. There is nothing worse than losing those precious words. I enjoyed this.
Rhiannonw | July 4, 2012 - 18:40
Thank you, Sooz, and for telling me. Maybe I felt it the more, as it was my fault, rather than my writing! Rhiannon
Rigel | July 5, 2012 - 11:29
I couldn't agree more with you Sooz on this one, Rhiannon. Very much enjoyed.
Rigel
Rhiannonw | July 5, 2012 - 11:33
Thank you Rigel, glad it brought enjoyment and a touch of empathy! Rhiannon