I laid Theresa down on the mattress. She didn’t look well – beginning to blur around the edges, the way her side do when you’ve nearly brought them down. And her halo was showing – never a good sign.
I’d found a deserted apartment halfway up a tower block. It stank of urine and the floor was littered with old cans and needles, but it was safe enough – too wretched for my side to bother with (they’d be hanging around the more genteel properties up the hill).
She opened her eyes for a moment and smiled faintly. ‘Is this your conscience, Sam?’ she murmured, then drifted off again.
It was a fair point – the world gets to you after a while. The bosses don’t understand, but they were the ones who fell from Heaven in the first place. If you’re born in Hell, what are you supposed to think? You just do your job and keep your head down.
As night fell over the estate, I watched Mephisto’s shadow demons flitting between the pools of lamplight far below. Something screamed in the distance and Theresa stirred in her sleep.
With luck we’d have another day before they picked up the scent again.
Comments
celticman | May 3, 2011 - 22:22
around the more genteel properties up the hill).' class issues and the degradation of work. Is it heaven or hell? Nice one Rob.
Silver Spun Sand | May 3, 2011 - 23:53
I love that sentence, Rob, 'The world gets to you...after a while.' I know the feeling...only too well.
Tina
insertponceyfre... | May 4, 2011 - 16:51
it seems to me that these characters are more three dimensional than those you've created in previous series. I still don't know how you manage to do that in so few words! This is a very good piece - all the better for having no action, just for once.
rjnewlyn | May 4, 2011 - 22:12
Many thanks Celticman - I'm not sure I'm qualified to talk about class issues but they slipped in there all the same. I suppose it's probably fairly uncontroversial theology that devils hang around rich folk.
Many thanks Tina - yes, I agree. What interested me was whether that sentence could be made to operate in reverse as well (as in the case of our 'hero').
And many thanks Insert - yes, it felt nice to keep the action down for a bit. Still finding my way with this form.
And thanks very much for the cherry!
Rob
mikepyro | May 5, 2011 - 19:22
Very nice. Its a wondeful example of setting the scene of a piece and creating a world effortlessly. While we know little of the characters in this snapshot moment we're given just enough to sympathize and understand their motivations. Well done.
rjnewlyn | May 5, 2011 - 22:40
Thanks very much for reading mikepyro. I'm glad it worked OK.
Rob
RachelPatricia | May 8, 2011 - 14:50
Just read part one through to ten, and am now completely hooked. You have an undeniable talent for this kind of writing, Rob, which is both admirable and enviable to say the least :)
Looking forward to the next installment, and many congrats on all the cherries involved in this - all well deserved :)
Rachel xx
rjnewlyn | May 8, 2011 - 15:09
Thanks very much indeed Rachel for reading and for your comments. That's very kind of you to say so!
Rob
MistakenMagic | May 9, 2011 - 18:14
Very intriguing as always, Rob. Can't wait to see where this is going!
Magic xxx
rjnewlyn | May 12, 2011 - 01:18
Thanks very much Magic. I can't wait either ...
Rob
Sooz006 | May 15, 2012 - 14:12
She didn’t look well – beginning to blur around the edges, the way her side do when you’ve nearly brought them down. And her halo was showing – never a good sign... it's all so matter of fact, absolutely brilliant. Great imagery and imagination.
rjnewlyn | May 17, 2012 - 22:21
Thanks Sooz. Yes, I remember being happy with this one.
Rob