The lights in the control centre flashed impassively as the commander turned away from Lily. From where I was standing I could see that she was still alive but the fire from his hands had taken half her face away. She had uttered no cry throughout the whole pointless process – the angeli weren’t after any information; it was cruelty pure and simple.
‘You did well,’ he said, turning to me. ‘We were worried for a little while whose side you were on.’
‘And the bargain?’ I asked. ‘My parents?’
But I could see the answer in his eyes. Behind him Lily slowly raised her hand.
‘Save your breath,’ I said. ‘I’d figured as much.’
Tossing Lily’s gun back to her, I turned mine on him and watched a surprised expression freeze on his face. I caught him as he fell and slammed his hand down on the identification panel, punching in the access codes as I did so. As Lily despatched the rest of the guards, a reassuring rumble indicated that the missile had been launched.
‘Well done,’ she said, her face already beginning to heal over. ‘The Sun now?’
I nodded and we blasted our way through the roof.
Comments
lenchenelf | January 15, 2011 - 12:33
Understated horror of the injury/double dealing works well, tight dramatic control of the plot..onward :-) all the best Lena xx
Silver Spun Sand | January 15, 2011 - 13:35
I agree, wholeheartedly, with Lena. Skilfull writing... and have just realised, I literally am on the edge of my seat;-)
Tina
fatboy74 | January 15, 2011 - 16:13
I had full trust in the integrity of our hero! I have only just noticed but is Lily short for Lilith, Cosmopolitan reading first wife of Adam?
Congrats Rob on helping to organize what sounded from the feedback like an excellent night on Wednesday. Must be strange to be able to put a face/voice to a nickname when reading stuff on here from now on. ATB FB
rjnewlyn | January 15, 2011 - 22:33
Many thanks Lena and Tina and Fatboy. Very glad you liked it. I'd wanted to stretch out the uncertainty about 'our hero' a little longer but wasn't sure whether this form of writing would sustain it or not. Fatboy may be on to something but we'll see ...
Rob
Beeme | January 15, 2011 - 23:06
Another enjoyable installment. I'm was so happy when he changed his mind! :)
Beeme xx
rjnewlyn | January 15, 2011 - 23:31
Thanks Beeme - yes, so was I!
Rob
insertponceyfre... | January 15, 2011 - 23:53
good - Lily lives to fight again! I hope you read some of these at the next evening Rob. Love the twists and turns in this one, like everyone else
rjnewlyn | January 15, 2011 - 23:58
Thanks very much Insert. Yes, I'd like to try reading this at some point. Rob
Sooz006 | May 14, 2012 - 12:28
I had to go back and check at the beginning of this one because I thought I'd missed one. I'd like to see the attack on Lily. But I'm the only one to mention it so, it's probably just me.
Can you hide that face that she heals so quickly from this part and add it later? because wounds are self repairing, it took away from the pang of loss and of the enemy's cruelty. How can it be cruel if two minutes later, she's as good as new? I'd love it if she could just continue to die until the next part.
Also, would he have time to punch in an access code as he was dying? Pushing a button, yes, but to run a sequence of numbers?
Another strong part. Really enjoying it and the build up of tension towards the end game.
rjnewlyn | May 15, 2012 - 17:47
Thanks very much Sooz. I think you're right. The difficulty with these is posting them on a weekly basis without being completely clear what the next week's going to turn up.
Rob