I don't like porridge

I like the sparsity of words in this. No need to say more than you have.

I hope you come back soon seashore, and that you sort out whatever you have to.

I'm also a fan of sparsity, and of this piece. So much said. I enjoyed this breakfast. Thanks.

Rich

A perfect example of less being more, seashore.

Rigel

Many thanks insert, Rich and Rigel - really appreciate your feedback.

Thanks also to the cherrypickers.

new seashore
Congrats: on the cherries!
I enjoyed this poem,on memories,of five years
old. And the porridge you mention hated!I Went to a camp school once,for under nourished children.
I was about ten years old,canteen porridge yuk!
Great big lumps in. So only like if make it myself.
Quite a lot of children,do wet the bed,nerves fear etc;
More scolded over it worse they can become. Someone close to me once,put a stick in corner of the room,fear would make them worse course,and it was a boy!
Have a good week-end
julie xx

This is brilliant seashore.

When you are ready to come back I'll really look forward to reading your work again. Wishing you all the best. Fatboy :-)

Julie, thanks so much for the comments and for sharing your memories.

Coral x

That's nice of you, Fatboy. This one came easier than most, sometimes it happens that way.

Thanks also for your good wishes, much appreciated.

I agree with insert - the minimal approach really works. A brilliantly raw piece. Well done on the cherries, well deserved ;-)

Magic xxx

P.S. ABC will miss you!

Hi Magic, thanks so much. Hopefully only a temporary absence - lots of areas of my life need sorting but I'll be back. It's addictive here!

Hope all's going well for you.

Coral xx

Seashore.

"...he eats making disgusting slurping noises. My brother loves porridge..."

That's my boy, it's the only way to eat porridge, in style with lots of salt.

Ps
Take care water colourist, and hope you have not moved again?

Good to hear from you, ScoZen!

Re move - I've managed 3 months and 3 weeks in one place with one problem after another. If there is to be a 26th move at some point, hopefully I'll be a lot wiser and stronger...all I need is some ozone.

Please don't tell me you're a "slurper" - I would never have thought that!! Very disappointing....

What a fantastic opening, Coral... it took me right in:

My mother carries the sheets into the kitchen. Her face is stiff, her mouth a thin line. She walks right by me, her invisible child. My father is eating his porridge. He ignores me too.
I have committed a crime.

What a great hook, and a truly moving poem. I really felt sorry for you and wanted to hold your hand. Really enjoyed.

And hey, what’s all this about you going away? How come everybody knows except me? Always on the outside looking in, that’s me.

Best wishes in whatever you choose to do.

Trev

What a fantastic opening, Coral... it took me right in:

My mother carries the sheets into the kitchen. Her face is stiff, her mouth a thin line. She walks right by me, her invisible child. My father is eating his porridge. He ignores me too.
I have committed a crime.

What a great hook, and a truly moving poem. I really felt sorry for you and wanted to hold your hand. Really enjoyed.

And hey, what’s all this about you going away? How come everybody knows except me? Always on the outside looking in, that’s me.

Best wishes in whatever you choose to do.

Trev

Hi Trev - what a lovely comment, thank you and NO,
I'm not going anywhere for the moment - I recently moved (I'm a compulsive `mover'), and there have been more problems than usual to sort out so I'm a bit drained of energy - and just mentioned I might not be posting for a bit, need to re-charge the batteries, no more than that. Should have kept quiet - the phrase `Chinese whispers' comes to mind!

Should inspiration strike, then you never know.

Thanks for caring, but then you're like that.

Coral xx

PS Always on the outside looking in, that’s me. I know the feeling!

So well - written, so moving. This is one of the best things you've written. Makes such an impact with so few words.

Good luck with everything that's going on in your life - though doesn't sound as though good luck is your forte.

I bet you do write again anyhow. It's just there with you. Mine's gone awol and I can't imagine being able to write ever again. It's partly a relief, as often wrting can make me feel quite poorly, but I do hope the muse returns at some point.

It will, OTT. It's in your DNA and always will be.

I've lost count of the number of times I've said that (this being one of them). So much depends on what's going on in one's life but once the tide-gates open - even just a smidgeon - there will be a flood of creativy to follow.

Trust me. X

PS. Thanks so much for the great comment.

God this is effective, such a courageous way of writing.

That means a lot, Maggy. Thank you.

Good morning coral,

isn't it funny how certain moments in our lives,
never leave us? I think it must have been an
awful experience.

You managed to say so much, but with so few words.
I think I would have gone on rambling too much, if
I had written it.

Well deserved of the cherries.

Jenny. x

PS Hope you are well and everything is okay.

Thanks so much for the kind words, Jenny. Hope you're okay.

Coral x

Very nice, interesting, to the point. I like it. (:

Savannah

Thanks so much for reading and commenting, Savannah.

Sorry but I did miss it somehow. I think I must have blinked! My life has been busy too although not as involved as your problems. Two birthdays and becoming a great grandad have taken much of my browsing time.
However as you written something I admire in this case the simplicity and brevity of your tale!
Keep up the good work please!
PS I don't like porridge either.

Oh Geoff - have I missed your birthday AGAIN? Sorry but thanks for commenting. x

Wonderful piece this. Like the style very much.

Thank you so much Denzella.

I am on my way to waitrose to buy duchey organic porridge with barley. I love it. And l love this. Similar stuff in my childhood, but it was from my 'mother'. Blesshoo xx

Thanks denni1.

The number of comments actually say it all. This is a fabulous piece, yet exasperating. So few words yet conveying a universe of things. That speaks of its quality.

Brilliant.

I'm humbled by your comment - many thanks, scratch.

seashore: spare and effective,and you made a couple of good points along the way. good short piece. swep

Thanks swep - always nice to receive a comment on past work so thank you.