Obsolete

This is so sad Seashore, but expressed so very beautifully.

Beeme xx

This is excellent Coral. A 'cherry' candidate, methinks.

Luigi x

Thanks Beeme - really kind of you to comment. I was just wondering whether I should delete it but maybe not after all. It wrote itself - I felt I had very little to do with it to be honest so on that basis it's kind of validated if you see what I mean. xx

Luigi - I really appreciate your feedback and thank you so much.

Coral x

I'd categorise this as mega-good. The transistor radio metaphor is one I will remember for a long time. This is a poem i wish i'd written. :-)

That means a lot, FB. We'll have to have a swap session sometime....

This is brilliant, seashore, and so powerful. I second FB on the metaphor-envy and I too wish I'd written this - wish my poetry wrote itself as well as your does ;o)

Rachel xx

Thanks so much, penandpaperdreams - really appreciate the feedback. Believe me, my poems don't usually write themselves - it's more often blood, sweat and tears plus at least ten drafts..

A stunning poem seashore.

Thank you very much Sundays.

Thank you very much Eds for cherries.

Don't ever delete one of your poems! You may think they're unsuitable , but believe me the weepies amongst us can't wait for your next.

Bless you Geoff! X

I must agree with Geoffrey seashore, I won't even erase a wrong word, just draw a line through it. As I read this, I got the feeling it had poured out of you. The words flowed and I felt myself flowing with them. Execellent job of capturing an emotion!

apeljo - that's a very insightful observation. You are spot on - for weeks I had the first line going round and round in my head and I was almost willing it to go away but it wouldn't and this was the result.

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment - it means a lot.

This poem rings true with me from the very first verse. It reminds me of my corrupted mother-figure and my need to write about it. I tried yesterday to write about it but failed. I can see that if the result is anything like yours in your ability to convey a trapped, heavy, and poisoned image then I can rest in peace.

I particularly like "your defective gene firing warnings".

I trust I am not being inappropriately fussy when I note that transistor is spelt with an o, and since I know you value good spelling - having so gently pointed out a mistake in mine.

magicdarer - thanks for commenting on this. If it's any consolation, it took me years to get this one written and something of a relief...

Thanks for pointing out spelling - eagle-eyes for others' work if not for our own!