I brush my fingers, my palm
across his hot forehead
over and again
the only comfort I can think
of giving
something about being five or six
years old, measels, or scarlet fever
a childhood disease, my mother's hand
soothing, cool, this gesture somehow
welded to my ideoloy of love
I wonder why the past always fucking interferes
and if I wasn't so alone would I be turning my life
into a second rate poem.
I can't think if there's a patron saint of illness
to petition, so I turn to St Christopher
whom I claim as my own in my father's blood
Not every daughter is given such a gift
but that dirty little secret stays
in my dirty little attic, whilst on secrets;
They say that 'if only' are the saddest words
ever written, but that's not fair to 'only'
which is only trying to take the sting out of things
'only friends' 'only once' or 'only day dreaming'
but 'if'! if triggers the buckeroo
'if' should be a four letter word
'if friends', 'if dreams', 'if you love me,' 'if you!'
There is no poignant end to this poem
like life, it just stumbles along and on
He opens his eyes, asks for water
and I'm sick of myself and stop writing
Comments
insertponceyfre... | September 22, 2011 - 17:31
I really enjoyed this shoe, very well written
Beeme | September 22, 2011 - 18:50
I agree, I really enjoyed this :)
MaggieG | September 22, 2011 - 19:04
thoroughly enjoyed this
Fine piece of writing
barryj1 | September 22, 2011 - 19:19
I like the way you draw the reader back into the original theme toward the end of the poem. This sort of writing makes demands on the reader's heart and intellect, which is what all the best poems do (i.e. please excuse the dangling participle). A real fine bit of writing!
sue dinum | September 22, 2011 - 20:11
So much anger, shoe... and it certainly packs a punch. I enjoyed it too.
sue
Highhat | September 22, 2011 - 20:50
I especially liked the part about "if only"- "only" and "if"- brilliant Shoe- a favourite this one.
;)Pia
Silver Spun Sand | September 22, 2011 - 22:06
Shoe...you go from strength to strength;-)
Tina
MistakenMagic | September 22, 2011 - 22:36
"I wonder why the past always fucking interferes" - I feel your pain, Shirley! This is a stunning poem, brutal, honest and to the point in a very profound way. Well done!
Magic xxx
tcook | September 23, 2011 - 14:43
That's no second rate poem - it's very, very good indeed.
fatboy74 | September 23, 2011 - 16:15
I couldn't agree more with the boss Shoe - like the way the poem questions its own validity as a mouthpiece for life but in the end convinces both writer (I hope) and reader that it's as good a way as any and better than most - definitely when it's this good. ATB Fatboy :-)
WillSimpson | September 23, 2011 - 18:16
seems to be some deep layers in this for me, keep it up, x
shoe | September 24, 2011 - 13:05
Thank you all very much, I've read all your comments at least 3 times over, much appreciated.
maggyvaneijk | October 3, 2011 - 21:10
This poem is amazing on so many levels, it might just be one of my favourite of yours. There's so many lines that made my jaw drop and heart flutter but this is one of my favourite:
this gesture somehow
welded to my ideoloy of love