Nativity Play 2005

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Nativity Play 2005

Some of the delegates on my training course today were discussing the nativity plays at their childrens schools. Specifically the lack of roles compared to the number of kids involved. Given Mary, Joseph, the Innkeeper, 3 Wisemen, 4 or 5 shepherds, and half a dozen angels, that still left about 10 to 12 kids in the average class to dress up as trees or "passers by".

So we started to come up with modern day characters to fill out the numbers. So far we have:

The Independent Financial Adviser who helps the Innkeeper to put the stable into a SIPP, saving 40% tax on the rental income.

The fashion designer who makes a whole range of swaddling leisurewear.

The spin doctor who sold Herod's decision to slay the firstborn as a family planning strategy.

A diversity awareness consultant to ensure that no more than 40% of the shepherds or sheep are white.

Any more?

Oh the Max Clifford to help Mary sell her story about her alleged night of pash with God. 'I don't remember much, He must have put something in my drink...'
I think fairly soon we'll see a time when a lot of schools won't be able to have nativity plays, because of the religion of the children. Good thing or bad thing or just a sign of the times? What about a mid-winter festival?

 

The alien who comes down from the 'star'. "Take me to your leader." "ET phone home." Those are his/her lines.
Bethlehem council's planning department who maintain that the stable, being over six feet in height needed planning permission which wasn't sought and arrive in the middle of the shepherd's first "Glory to God in the Highest" to pull the whole thing down.

 

Bethlehem Local Council taxation department who maintain that aforementioned stable fits into band "b" council tax valuation and Mary and Joseph as assumed longterm tennants are liable for the arrears dating back to King David.

 

Bethlehem social services' social worker - concerned about child's welfare since three strangers bringing expensive presents were reported to be hanging around the stable.

 

Bethlehem RSPCA Official - re:- cruelty reported about donkey forced to carry heavily pregnant woman for hundreds of miles. Donkey ends up in donkey sanctuary - holy family have to catch the number 48 bus to Egypt.

 

Incidently, who was telling the story of their local church's outdoor nativity play? Excellent story, real animals, small child in anorak. VERY funny which leads me to suspect it was Ely!

 

that was last year btw

 

poetjude for virgin mary ... andrew pack for baby jesus ... ooo sorry i seem to be stuck in a timewarp ...
(wasnt it stormy petrel who had the live nativity across the road?)
Could have been .. I'll ask George to look it up on his thread archive. Incidently, George ... seeing as you're an old curmugeon (sp?) all year round, how do you scrooge in special style at yuletide? (dodges swipe!) I am a born-again-virgin! I'd cast George as the Angel Gabriel to give the whole thing a surreal quality. Tony Cook as the "Giant Baby Jesus", Fish-liana-rachel-fergal as a rock-band of shepherdesses

 

There is a very old thread in which the Virgin Mary gave birth three times at the beheast of different posters. It was quite a feat, tricky getting the baby jesus back in the container so to speak for another debut, but not for nothing was it called a miracle, eh?
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