Thou Shalt not be Tied...

* "... there are not many things I find I want, actually." How many of us can say that eh wot! * Well I can go at least that far if not better, Jude. I want only one thing, but so far it's eluded me!

I love this programme. I'm not a Catholic, and there are many things about their beliefs which don't feel right and I can't accept; but as one of the visitors said, there's an undeniable light inside them (the Poor Clares). It must be frustrating, though, having Victoria and Angela flouting so many of the rules - getting drunk in the prayer hut! Although probably not frustrating, as such, as they have a seemingly fathomless tolerance; but still... All this "negotating" to have more time in bed etc... They are the guests of the nuns; the convent is their home; and they volunteered to be there - they should either follow the routine or admit they can't and bugger off! Good for Deb, though, for sticking up for herself and not going with the group's consensus... :-) * P * :-) ( Read my blog! - www.oddcourgette.blogspot.com )

I have often thought that, when I reach my late autumn years, I'll join a convent, or perhaps a mission somewhere in a developing country, spending the rest of my days serving God by helping humanity. I'm very attracted to the austere life of a religious order; my only problem is finding an order liberal enough to encompass my views! I'm drawn to Catholicism on some levels, mainly the richness of the rituals and liturgy, but the patriarchal system is deeply repugnant to me. Still, the ability to sacrifice the 'comforts' of the material world in exchange for a fulfilling inner life is something that continues to draw me. The 'trouble', if you can call it that, with half the people who wind up in these kinds of programmes, is that the ones who really NEED the help/succour that is offered, are usually the ones who have the hardest time accepting it. I watched some parts of The Monastery when it was on, and was very moved by the B-movie porn actor (something dodgy like that) who had, literally, a 'religious experience', and was compelled to change his life around entirely. I thought that expressed the most beautiful and fundamental reasons religion exists: to lend depth and meaning to lives which might otherwise be empty.

Some aspects of Catholicism appeal to me… although admittedly not many! The whole sacrificing comforts “in exchange for a fulfilling inner life” idea, though, I also find deeply compelling. Although is this really a Catholic thing, per se, or more a monastic thing? I’d actually say it’s closer to Gnosticism… What is at the heart of the nuns is deeply pure and true and light. People in their situation experience their faith away from the trappings of Catholicism – including the immense wealth and the patriarchy – and whatever the specifics of one’s belief, I think it would be very difficult to find fault with their way of life. I can’t say I could manage it myself, although a period of time in, for example, a Buddhist monastery greatly appeals. I was thinking about something Iona said in the last programme: she was questioning what she had “to look forward to” while in the convent. And it made me think that one of the fundamental aspects of that lifestyle is having nothing to look forward to… but in a good way! I know that I, for one, am all too often guilty of thinking about the next thing I am going to do. Looking forward to the future and not spending enough time just living in the now. Consequently I had a bath, had a bit of a meditate, cleared out my mind of all the thoughts that were swimming around in there and focused on that moment in time and nothing else. And it felt great! For a while afterwards I felt refreshed and at peace… And then I did the washing up… slowly and meditatively… and felt at one with God through the scrubbing of the pots and pans! The porn actor’s transformation was indeed inspirational. Hopefully Angela and Victoria will get more out of it than they seem to be doing so far… :-) * P * :-) ( Read my blog! - www.oddcourgette.blogspot.com )

Sad that it's come to an end... :-( However, I have to say that, although I so want it all to be real and genuine and involve genuine spiritual transformation, given that this program has followed the general sort of pattern of various other similar-ish programs before it, I can't help but feel some degree of "is-it-all-a-setup?" type cynicism. Is it possible that this kind of "experiment" can occur without the kind of drama, revelation and histrionics that has been a part of it? Then again, to be Devil's advocate to myself, I suppose, with the BBC's experience in making this sort of program, they would be pretty adept at choosing the sort of participants who would (genuinely) elicit the sort of emotions and happenings that have happened... Well there we are, I've argued myself into believing that it's all real! Will atheist Victoria get anything at all out of it, I wonder...? :-) * P * :-) ( Read my blog! - www.oddcourgette.blogspot.com )

'I am also a big believer in the power of healing and radical conversion, even when we open the door but a hair's breadth.' Hmm... which is also why it's such a shaky basis for changing one's life. Rarely do people come to God through a painstaking process of ratiocination. They're either raised in the faith or they have a spiritual experience where, desperate for something, anything, they yield totally - in effect, saying, 'I can't do this on my own.' The rational framework for God's existence comes afterwards. It seems to me that, although the spiritual power of letting go and living in the moment is quite clear, God and all of Catholicism's creaking antiquities are outmoded distractions.

I would also like a Portable Nun. Do you think someone could convince Sony to get on the case? :-) * P * :-) ( Read my blog! - www.oddcourgette.blogspot.com )