Women, Concerned about your appearance?

Why is this contentious, Tony? I agree with it wholeheartedly. Self-hatred is a lucrative market for certain industries.

I wish it weren't the case that women (and men I'm sure) compare themselves to how others look, but they do. The problem is that now, as cellarscene says, we seem to have only one artificial standard to go by. The whole idea of ‘fashion’ at all makes me cross – what a monumental waste of time. I heard that the high street shops now change their ranges about six times a year rather than twice, so that the fashion obsessed buy more often. At least before cheap plastic surgery, the furthest a female could go to change her appearance to fit a fashion, involved make-up and tweezers. Now it’s different. The female ‘celebrities’ in the media today appear completely homogeneous. It’s quite bizarre. Their figures are identical. No one has an original, tall-skinny-no-boobs or small-waist-big-hips-big-boobs figure anymore. And as for English pears... please…. There’s not an interesting face between them either (all have standardised noses - second cheapest on the nose menu being the most popular.) I don’t think there’s been any strategic plan behind it, it’s just business cynically squeezing more and more money out of a set of circumstances. Once the first Barbie clone appeared and the access to plastic surgery became more available, the increase became exponential. I feel sorry for any teenager trawling through magazines who doesn’t fall into that artificially narrow category of what supposedly looks attractive. Thing is, one of them saves up for a boob job instead of a car and off we go again, but this time it’s peers and not celebs in magazines. As for those with talent, It used to be, you had to worry about your appearance less the more talent you had. Even this is changing. When I was a teenager, I adored Jane Fonda in Klute. Not only did I love the film, but she was flat-chested and didn't seem to care! Woo-hooo. Now look what’s happened – fist she had the boob job and now she’s had the face lift. Ok, fair enough – she got her first film in ages after having her face done BUT she’s now on the TV advertising anti-wrinkle cream!!!! Of course your skin looks younger you silicone-loaded-hypocrite, you’ve just had it hiked up behind your ears!

The thought of going under the knife to change the features the good Lord gave me fills me with terror. I mean, sure, my nose is a little crooked from breaking it during a football match and my right breast is slightly bigger than my left one, but so what? I can't imaging wanting to go under a general anaesthetic and waking up looking...different. I worked bloody hard to love myself just the way I am; paying someone else to change it for me is kind of a cop-out. I *do* have sympathy for people who need reconstructive surgery (after a car accident or severe burns, for example), but for those who get cut up so they can have a nose like Madonna's, well...I feel a bit sorry for them. As for women who get plastic surgery after a certain age, I don't know. At 36, I am still relatively wrinkle-free and have no grey hair yet, so maybe it's too soon to judge how I will feel about myself at 70; but the heart of the matter is that aging is seen as somehow 'bad', and so as people age they feel they ought to still look young, instead of feeling that they have earned the face they have. Jane Fonda was always a beautiful woman; she has, sadly, never seemed to feel that way about herself.

One of the worst things that has happened in recent years is the increase in magazines, advertising campaigns, etc, who proudly declare their use of “normal” women. Okay, so these women are slightly more “normal” in appearance than the paperclip thin legions of the undead who we are used to gracing our glossy pages… Their boobs are slightly bigger, they have slightly curvaceous thighs, they have (God forbid) a little bit of a tum… It’s bad enough for you ladies having to aspire to look like our so-called celebrities, but God help you if you don’t fit within the newly defined category of “normal”! *** pepsoid *** [[[ " It is a pickle, no doubt about it " - The Oracle (The Matrix) ]]]

Just how intently were you looking at these female joggers' breasts, TC...? *** pepsoid *** [[[ " It is a pickle, no doubt about it " - The Oracle (The Matrix) ]]]

After getting tired of squeezing into drab size 26 clothes that were coming apart at the seams, my wife decided to do something about it and went to Slimming World. A year and a half later she's down to size 12 and works for them part-time. I joined as well as have lost over two stones. We're not humiliated, put on cranky diets, sold extortionately-priced food supplements or encouraged towards anorexia - you're not allowed to set a target weight below a healthy limit and are encouraged to eat a balanced diet in a supportive setting. Yes, if you go back to eating a heavy fat and sugar laden diet you'll put it back on again but if you learn how to eat healthily and stick to it it can literally be a lifeline for £4.25 a week. Only drawback is that all my stock of clothes have gone the same way as my wife's, but like Tony's daughter I've started to buy from charity shops as well as donate to them until I get to where I want to be. Sorry if it sounds like a born-again advert but I wish I'd done this years ago, I feel so much healthier.

Has anyone watched 'How to look good naked'? Don't be put off by the title. It's a breath of fresh air as well as being the perfect foil against the nip-and-tuck/size 10 is fat message of woman's media. It is a wonderful antidote to the 'how to look 10 years younger' programmes where expensive cosmetic and dental surgery are part of the programme - er, aren't television programmes supposed to be entertaining or informative? And the difference? The first example is fronted by a man, the second by a slim, blond, pretty young female! An interesting point in this debate is that it is usually WOMEN who are the nastiest critics of other women. Do you see male journalists denouncing a politician or a businessman for have an extra chin or a paunch? No, you don't. They concentrate on the behaviour, not the appearance. So why are women so bloody bitchy? And when will they stop this destructive behaviour? When women (and it is mainly women who are victims but I accept men get trapped too) stop buying those crappy magazines, boycott the shops that only sell small sizes and label size 14s as large and start to accept themselves for who they are and what they do, not how they look. And Neilmc - well done to you and the Mrs for doing something for your health and charity at the same time.