Being English

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Being English

i am trying to write a piece about being English ...

any ideas for very obvious things about being english?

cliches or englishness?

Fights in pub carparks Corned Beef legs The Freemans catalogue disappearing into the bedroom of a teenage boy A sense of a lost arcadian past Pride in one's origins being directly related to the amount of suspicion on others Ringing in sick Bad choices of wallpaper Fish finger sandwiches The uncomfortable silence Cheers, mark

 

Automatically saying sorry to the moron who bumps into you. Feeling justifiably homicidal if they omit to say it back. Realising after a few drinks that 90% of the assembled english people, are in fact one half Irish and a quarter Scots. ~ www.fabulousmother.com
thanks mark ... i misread one as "a sense of a lost cardigan" i think that really sums it up for me ... (do you mind if i steal the corned beef legs?) xxx
Warm beer (and maybe even cricket on the green) Distrust of success Traffic jams where nobody sounds their horn Suit puddings

 

you need a full size version of the 'Shittish Isles' map http://www.vizprints.com/browse_by_cat.php?cat_name=Classic+Pull-Outs&cu...

 

Fish, you can have corned beef legs if you so wish! Cheers, Mark

 

Bill Bryson's 'Notes from a small island' (I think it's called that) is full to the brim with all things typically british. There's nothing more mind-teasing than the incomprehensible eagerly avowed - Dennett

~It's a maze for rats to try, it's a race for rats to die.~

Which is of course hilarious, because Bill is a Yank. But he's bang on!
A major English trait is being concerned with what it means to be English.
Sven Goran-Erikkson

 

Spot on, JC! As well as hating "the Yanks" and yet wanting to be exactly like "them." pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

And Marmite. pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

I've always wanted to be marmite. One acutely english thing: we queue well. There's nothing more mind-teasing than the incomprehensible eagerly avowed - Dennett

~It's a maze for rats to try, it's a race for rats to die.~

Suspicion about foreigners - especially ones who don't speak English.
Lyons golden syrup blackboards marmite tea cardigans brutal winter beaches apologising to folk that walk in to you gesturing to old people to have your seat holding open doors dreaming about wall charts x
Avoiding eye contact. pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

radiodumbo
Anonymous's picture
Avoiding eye contact. Yep, that's fatty pepsoid. English trait #31: calling people "fatty" - tho' it tends not to happen in America.
I am flumoxed by your presumption, Dumbo... :-/ pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

chavs scallys playing mobile phones music on buses kebabs
I couldn't resist the opportunity to record my thoughts on Being English so I wrote and posted a piece on the subect, if anyone is interested.....no, no don't all rush.
You can find Jingle's thoughts here: http://www.abctales.com/story/jingle/being-english It's a thoughtful little piece even though I disagree with large swathes of it. I want to be a citizen not a subject. Does that explain why I want to get rid of the monarchy?
Thanks for the flag Tony. I would have been very surprised to find that all of my comment would find favour with all the contributors to this site. As to wanting to be a citizen rather than a subject...well as a statement it doesn't explain anything, much less why you want to "Get rid of the Monarchy". What benefits do you think would derive to you or anyone else if they were called citizens rather than subjects?
I always find the term "subject" to be an odd one. To me, a subject is something like... Creative Uses of Cheese Amongst the Squirrels of the Serengeti I am not a subject! Then again, "citizen" seems to imply responsibility... :-/ pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

you become the 'subject' of a person's thoughts..not a citizen... is that right? huh? Hmm There's nothing more mind-teasing than the incomprehensible eagerly avowed - Dennett

~It's a maze for rats to try, it's a race for rats to die.~

Just for the record the Concise Oxford Dictionary gives almost a column to the word 'Subject'. The first definitiion is "Person subject to political rule, any member of a State except the Sovereign. Any member of a subject state." etc.etc. "person owing obedience to another" There's a lot more. I admit I didn't realise how many definitions there were. It also says the word is "The theme of any discussion." so.....fellow subjects, if discussion be the food of thought....think on!
And yes, being a citizen does imply that you have responsiblity - that's the whole point. If you opt into the social contract - i.e. choose to be a member of society - then you accept certain rights AND the responsibilities that go with them. Quite what those rights are in this country is a tad vague as we have no Bill of Rights, no written constitution and a bloody monarch who can chop off your head as soon as look at you. What benefits would accrue if the monarchy was gone? The class system would be under attack, the ridiculous fawning to those born supposedly of better blood would be reduced. We would save lots of money. Any old bugger could be Head of State - it's really not that important. I can't see the sense in keeping the ridiculous anachacronism.
Tony, I'm disappointed! I expected a well considered and well thought through response to what is after all a very important subject (No pun intended). Instead..... Of course being a citizen of any country brings with it the obligation to contribute to the development of that country. The same applies whether you are a citizen or a subject. A rose by any other name! You can't opt into or out of the society into which you are born, you can move elsewhere but even then you would need to become part of the society into which you moved and be required to respect it's laws and customs, written or imagined (Try having an alcoholic drink in one of the Arab States). So that comment doesn't hold water. As to the bill of rights or written constitution....well we don't have them because we don't need them. We all know and understand what is and what isn't acceptable in our relationships with others and what is what is not lawful, it isn't necessary to write it all down. It would serve no purpose that I can see other than lining the pockets of already overpaid lawyers and politicians. Oh yes and in case it has escaped your notice the Crown hasn't been able to chop of any heads for some time! As to the class system, well it has been under attack for some time and very successfully too. The vote in The Commons last evening shows that. But look at what happened in Russia and to a degree in France and elsewhere. The aristocracy was destroyed and was promptly replaced by something much worse. I prefer the gradual change that has been taking place in this country since the end of WWII. That way chaos is avoided and the rule of law maintained. To simply remove everything in one go would result as you wisely point out in "Any old bugger" becoming head of state...and contrary to your assertion that does matter, it matters very much. So cast aside your predudices and think it through more thoroughly, if you still come up with the same thoughts, well that's fine. That's the whole point of living in a country where you can hold contrary points of view and express them...and still keep your head! Finally the day any government starts to save lots of money is a day I doubt I shall ever see. In my experience government is for ever devising ways to part us from our hard earned money so that they can blow it on hair brained schemes that no successful businessman would consider for a moment.
Well just to be Devil's Advocate, TC... if one is born into a society, how does one "opt into" it/its social contract? Do native citizens have an innate responsibility to follow the rules of the society they are, by default, a member of? pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

'Do native citizens have an innate responsibility to follow the rules of the society they are, by default, a member of?' Not atall. There's nothing more mind-teasing than the incomprehensible eagerly avowed - Dennett

~It's a maze for rats to try, it's a race for rats to die.~

* ...look at what happened in Russia and to a degree in France and elsewhere. The aristocracy was destroyed and was promptly replaced by something much worse ... * Yeah, things like, (in the case of France), better education, better health care, better pensions, better.... People in this country are even going to former eastern block countries for quicker, better dental care etc. I don't know how those countries can live with themselves, trading fornicating, bullying, thieving, plundering, greedy, lazy, elitist bastards for such things!

 

How about human being? What are your rights and responsibilities as a human being? Visit me http://www.radiodenver.org/

Share your state secrets at...
http://www.amerileaks.org

Well that's kind of what I mean, Denver. I'm not talking about legal responsibilities - these can't really be argued with (The Law is The Law is The Law). But I'm talking about whether one should feel morally obligated to obey that law. Well? Should one? pe ps oid ... What is "The Art of Tea"? ... (www.pepsoid.wordpress.com)

The All New Pepsoid the Second!

I don't recall signing anything when I became one.

 

I just had to put this in, as it's one of my favourite film quotes ever. Gal Dove: "People say, "Don't you miss it, Gal?" I say, "What, England? Nah. Fucking place. It's a dump. Don't make me laugh. Grey, grimy, sooty. What a shit hole. What a toilet. Every cunt with a long face shuffling about, moaning, all worried. No thanks, not for me." --'Sexy Beast'
Well thanks Archergirl, that elevates the conversation to a sublime level! I'm sure that a quote from a character in a film with such piercing insight, needle sharp powers of observation and majestic command of the English language will be an inspiration to us all....particularly to any young people who may be visiting the site.
So many questions, so little time! If you accept that you live in a 'society' then you must accept the rules and the responsibilities that go with that society. You do have other options - you can move to another soicety (if they'll have you) or you can 'opt out'. That would mean living a self sufficient life, without the use of money, on land that you have acquired. It isn't that practical as an alternative as you still can't break many of the laws of the country in which your bit of land is situated - and that's where the written Bill of Rights etc. comes into play. I don't trust judges or politicians to look after my interests. I want them written down. I want to know what are and what are not my rights and responsibilities. I want to be able to overturn those I disagree with in a legal and formal manner and I want to safeguard those I agree with similarily. I want to be able to defend my freedoms. As for the monarchy - I accept that it is doing a very good job of destroying itself and I don't believe it will last that much longer. I don't want to pay for it, it isn't important except that it exists and it allows those who wish to kow-tow to the elite to do so - and thereby helps to perpetuate the power base of that elite. It should just be abolished.
Tony, I don't trust politicians or lawyers either but who do you think would get the job of drafting a constitution and a bill of rights...us? I think not. As to your last para and Mississippi's comment, it seems that the spirits of John Lilburn and Oliver Cromwell still burn brightly...mind you they came a sticky end. But still I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree on that matter, I'm sure time will sort it all out, it usually does. Thank you for taking the trouble to respond.
Um, Jingle, most of the thread, until it veered off into social anarchy, *was* tongue-in-cheek. If the administrators of the site feel the quote is offensive, they are more than welcome to go in and edit, as is their right. If you don't like the quote, maybe you are one of the people Gal was speaking of, and should move to Spain as he did. They take things less seriously there. It's nice and sunny. Sheesh.
I didn't like the quote, I thought it crass. The Editors may take their own view but whatever that view may be wouldn't alter my observation. As to moving to Spain...been there many. many times over many, many years, I much admire the progress the country has made since the restoration of the Monarchy. As to being like those described by your hero.....I promise you I couldn't be more different. Oh yes and I'm sorry if the level of conversation got rather too much for you.
Oh, Jingle, you must think I care! Breaking news: I don't. Not dos mochilas de caca. Bienvenidos a su vida.
Behave please. Let's not get all silly again.
The biggest thing about being English is the constant urge to put the kettle on during any and every crisis. My webpage is at: http://www.bookscape.co.uk
Tony, your penultimate post sums up my feelings precisely, and may I add without the inclusion of the passionate abuse I hurl at the wanky Windsors at every opportunity. Thank you for providing me with just such an opportunity. I despise the arrogant, useless family, and everything they stand for, with all my being. The sooner they are consigned to the history books the better.

 

Tony, you *know* I comport myself with the utmost decorum. Usually. Unless provoked. I should add a correction: dos mochilas que han llenado de caca. Otherwise one might be led to believe that the mochilas are actually made from the caca. Perdoname.
Doesn't it just show what a twat arseygurl is when she responds to a thread about 'English' with her version of Spanish. Oh silly me, she's probably got a degree in ethnic languages.

 

One would seem to have found oneself in the midst of a flame war. That reminds me. I must put the kettle on. Tea anyone? My webpage is at: http://www.bookscape.co.uk
*chortle* Make one for me, too, if you would, patmac. Missi: I don't have a degree in languages. Yet. Watch this space. You'll be the first to know, querido.
Oliver Cromwell didn't come to a sticky end. Unless you're referring to the dodgy business after the Restoration, where his corpse was dug up and hanged at Tyburn. (I'm not quite sure what that particular exercise was all about, but hey, what's a monarchist supposed to do when there's nothing good on telly?) My webpage is at: http://www.bookscape.co.uk
That is what I was referring to Patmac. I reckon that's as sticky as it gets, don't you?
Delivering deportment lectures. From my three years in London, that sticks out in my mind more than anything else. When challenged, instead of addressing the issue at hand, the challenged person will simply launch an attack on the other person in the form of a deportment lecture. "Why are you so aggressive? You are not a nice person. You are not being polite. etc etc" All of this is a diversionary tactic in which the person being challenged hopes to escape responsibility for their own mistakes or, more likely, their own rude behavior. I saw this scenario play out several times every day. There is a lot of surface "politeness," but it masks a cesspool of raging resentments which tends to bubble over in the form of sarcasm, deportment lectures, meritless threats of libel actions, and other forms of passive agressive nonsense. All in all, not a very pleasant place to live. "You don't need the light of the Lord to read the handwriting on the wall." Copies of Warsaw Tales available through www.new-ink.org

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