i need some feedback!

I liked your poems!! I like your ideas for them. Maybe the rhythms were off sometimes, but it's the ideas that I care about. I never write poetry, so maybe somebody else would care to comment on those mechanics...

Hi there Jane. Have read through your poems, etc. Written from the heart ... quite a lot of oomph in them. As far as the cert U etc. OK. 'U' means , would you let your 6 year old son/brother read it - then OK it's a 'U'. PG means what the letters stand for, Parental Guidance, self-explanatory. I guess the rest of the classifications are clear. Yes? Keep writing. I, for one, am reading. regards and surely, live, love, laugh ... Silver Spun Sand

Oh yes, there's always someone here!

"This is my first attempt of writing so i really really need some feed back on my work... it includes 3 love poems and a story till now! do let me know if i can become a good writer :)" There's no reason why you couldn't become a good writer. The poems are mostly technically ok. Whether the stuff you've posted so far is good depends a bit on what you're trying to do with your writing. The poem 'Only once', for example. If someone I was going out with gave me this poem, I'd be really pleased. As an expression of feeling between two people who know each other, it works well. As independent piece of writing, it doesn't do anything much because the sum total of what's being communicated is: "I really, really love you. You'll know how much I love you if you look into my eyes." The reader doesn't get to find out - either through being told directly or through imagery and metaphor - who the subject is, who the writer is, what it is about the subject that makes the writer love them, why it is that the writer is unable to tell the subject how they feel (or, in fact, anything else). I think there's similar issues with the other poems. If you're wanting to write poems for an audience beyond the person being addressed in the poem, you need to be communicating something.